Fear of Commitment

Most guys my age that are still single, like myself, are accused of being afraid of commitment. I don't always deal well with criticism, even when it's constructive...I usually fire back with something along the lines of "I'm just waiting for the right girl..." or "Why would I rush into anything if she may not be the one?" I know what you're thinking, "Isn't this blog about golf?" Yes it is.

To continue with the metaphor, a man, or a woman for that matter would never get to the alter and stand in front of his or her family, their spouse's family and friends, and most importantly in front of the Lord himself and make a commitment to someone they weren't sure they wanted to spend eternity with. After all, that is what the idea of marriage is all about, or at least what it used to be about.

Looking back on the Greater Bangor Open, now two days removed from missing the cut, I have realized that my most fundamental flaw was being committed to nothing. I wasn't committed to most of my shots, I wasn't committed to any sort of game plan for the tricky, short, and gimmicky layout of Bangor Municipal Golf Course, and most of all I wasn't committed to having fun during the tournament. I never committed to enjoying the process. I was merely concerned with the results. To go back to my metaphor of loving someone, wouldn't it be wrong to marry someone only because you wanted their money, or their children, or their house, etc.? Of course it would be...

Once I knew the cut was well out of reach for me, I decided with my very good friend Eric Goldthwaite, who was on the bag for the GBO, that I would play the final three holes using only my 7-iron. A little ode to my favorite golf movie, Tin Cup. In the movie, Kevin Costner's Character Roy McAvoy has a complete mental breakdown with his caddy during a US Open qualifier and breaks every club in his bag on the tenth tee, except his 7-iron. He plays the final nine holes in even par (successfully qualifying) using only that club which he claims to be "the only truly safe club in his bag..."

I played the final three holes par, bogey, par. This wasn't bad, especially since the last hole was a par 4 that plays as a par 5 for the members. However, after teeing off on the 16th hole, I enjoyed a walk with Eric, both of us smiling and laughing, and that's when it hit me: this was the first time I had committed to anything the entire week. We even left the bag behind, and would loop back for it after the round was completed, now that's faith in the process! For the first time all week I had fun on the golf course, and perhaps for the first time as a professional. I regret to admit that I have been making this mistake since turning pro last fall. I forgot to have fun when I played golf, as I always did when I was an amateur, and most importantly, I forgot to commit to it.

This is not to say I didn't have fun during the week. I shared a hotel room in Maine with three good friends to save some extra money and we had a blast together. The only part of the trip that wasn't great was the golf, unfortunately.

So, with the New Hampshire Open just two days away what am I to do in order to improve? Well, I need to commit. I will not play the entire tournament with a 7-iron though...On the trip back Eric and I talked over the challenges that Atkinson Country Club presents, and how to attack them properly. We devised a game plan that is tailored to my strengths as a golfer. We have decided to commit to the tournament, commit to every shot played, commit to the game plan, commit to enjoying the process, and most importantly to commit to the love and respect I have for the game of golf...

I may not be guaranteed to win. I may not be guaranteed to make a check. I may not even be guaranteed to make the cut. Commitment is a beautiful thing however, and if I can commit myself to these things which I have reflected upon then I am guaranteed one thing, and that is to not have any regrets...