Fear of Commitment

Most guys my age that are still single, like myself, are accused of being afraid of commitment. I don't always deal well with criticism, even when it's constructive...I usually fire back with something along the lines of "I'm just waiting for the right girl..." or "Why would I rush into anything if she may not be the one?" I know what you're thinking, "Isn't this blog about golf?" Yes it is.

To continue with the metaphor, a man, or a woman for that matter would never get to the alter and stand in front of his or her family, their spouse's family and friends, and most importantly in front of the Lord himself and make a commitment to someone they weren't sure they wanted to spend eternity with. After all, that is what the idea of marriage is all about, or at least what it used to be about.

Looking back on the Greater Bangor Open, now two days removed from missing the cut, I have realized that my most fundamental flaw was being committed to nothing. I wasn't committed to most of my shots, I wasn't committed to any sort of game plan for the tricky, short, and gimmicky layout of Bangor Municipal Golf Course, and most of all I wasn't committed to having fun during the tournament. I never committed to enjoying the process. I was merely concerned with the results. To go back to my metaphor of loving someone, wouldn't it be wrong to marry someone only because you wanted their money, or their children, or their house, etc.? Of course it would be...

Once I knew the cut was well out of reach for me, I decided with my very good friend Eric Goldthwaite, who was on the bag for the GBO, that I would play the final three holes using only my 7-iron. A little ode to my favorite golf movie, Tin Cup. In the movie, Kevin Costner's Character Roy McAvoy has a complete mental breakdown with his caddy during a US Open qualifier and breaks every club in his bag on the tenth tee, except his 7-iron. He plays the final nine holes in even par (successfully qualifying) using only that club which he claims to be "the only truly safe club in his bag..."

I played the final three holes par, bogey, par. This wasn't bad, especially since the last hole was a par 4 that plays as a par 5 for the members. However, after teeing off on the 16th hole, I enjoyed a walk with Eric, both of us smiling and laughing, and that's when it hit me: this was the first time I had committed to anything the entire week. We even left the bag behind, and would loop back for it after the round was completed, now that's faith in the process! For the first time all week I had fun on the golf course, and perhaps for the first time as a professional. I regret to admit that I have been making this mistake since turning pro last fall. I forgot to have fun when I played golf, as I always did when I was an amateur, and most importantly, I forgot to commit to it.

This is not to say I didn't have fun during the week. I shared a hotel room in Maine with three good friends to save some extra money and we had a blast together. The only part of the trip that wasn't great was the golf, unfortunately.

So, with the New Hampshire Open just two days away what am I to do in order to improve? Well, I need to commit. I will not play the entire tournament with a 7-iron though...On the trip back Eric and I talked over the challenges that Atkinson Country Club presents, and how to attack them properly. We devised a game plan that is tailored to my strengths as a golfer. We have decided to commit to the tournament, commit to every shot played, commit to the game plan, commit to enjoying the process, and most importantly to commit to the love and respect I have for the game of golf...

I may not be guaranteed to win. I may not be guaranteed to make a check. I may not even be guaranteed to make the cut. Commitment is a beautiful thing however, and if I can commit myself to these things which I have reflected upon then I am guaranteed one thing, and that is to not have any regrets...

Homecoming

If you read my last post, you know that I was planning on returning to my original home of New Hampshire for the better part of the summer to play in a few golf tournaments, see some family and friends, and just relax in the peaceful serenity that a summer in New England so easily provides...

I made a stop in Columbus, OH to see two of my greatest friends in the world for a couple of days. Ben Fithian, my roommate from Quinnipiac, and Kyle Coffman. Kyle recently transplanted to Columbus from Austin. It was tough to see him go, but it was great to see both of them doing well there and loving life.

I arrived here in New Hampshire Tuesday evening around 7:15 PM after 31 hours on the road and was immediately greeted by my mother. I hadn't seen her since Christmas and the reunion was nice. You know how mom's are, within an hour I had eaten about four pounds of food and been hugged more than twice with that unmistakable look in her eyes that says "I'm so happy you're home..."

Wednesday I ventured up to Canterbury Woods Country Club for my first golf since I had left Texas. I had worked at Canterbury Woods while I was in college and some after as well. It's one of those places that holds an unexplainable place in my heart, and it will remain there forever with it's rolling hills, rough terrain, and breathtaking vistas of the New England Mountains. I've had some pretty special moments there, including a few Club Championships, A New Hampshire Amateur Championship, and three consecutive Concord City Championships. The members at Canterbury Woods always kept up with my progress, and were always there to offer their congratulations on my victories, and condolences in my defeats. I had always felt like part of the family there. I was a little unsure who I would see or what the reception would be because it had been 3 years since I've stepped foot on the grounds.

Before I could even make it to the clubhouse I was greeted by a friendly face. It was Erich McLellan. I had known Erich during the "Glory Days" and he greeted me with a smile and a handshake. I told him it still gave me chills to make the drive up the long winding driveway of the club, there are just so many memories. One by one the familiar faces came into view and we greeted each other with smiles and "Great to see you!" The golf ensued from there and I was a little apprehensive as I hadn't so much as picked up a golf club for 6 days. Even the golf course greeted me warmly, I played 9 holes in 4 under par 32, without making a bogey.

Thursday was an early morning. I met my father at his place at 4 'o clock in the morning to get a head start to Vermont. He was headed there to do some fishing with his father, who didn't know I was attending as well, and didn't even know I was in the area. It was great to see my grandfather, and after reuniting a bit, three generations of Cyr men headed out to catch some fish. We fished for about 4 hours and caught 80 fish. We returned home to clean them, which I was no help with. If you've ever seen my father with a knife in his hands cleaning a fish you'd be amazed. If you've seen my grandfather, you'll know you have witnessed something truly immortal. I just stayed out of the way, because that's truly the only place I would have been...

From there we proceeded to see my grandmother and other family for dinner which was incredible. Perhaps my grandmother felt the need to cement her legacy in my mind as the greatest cook I have ever seen. After the trip home, exhausted, it was time to get some much needed sleep because the rest of this journey starts today. My time here so far has been amazing and I'm sure it's going to continue to be that way. There are still many things I look forward to doing here. The Greater Bangor Open is still three weeks away, but I'm sure the time will pass by quickly. This will be great practice for staying in the moment, not just in golf, but in life...