Open for Business in San Antonio

I left Austin Friday Night with my friend Mark, headed for San Antonio to play in the 36-hole San Antonio Open Saturday and Sunday. Both of us had worked a long day, all day Friday and had high hopes for the weekend. Despite not finding a lot of time for practice leading up to the event, I found myself as confident as I had been since turning professional. I felt the layout suited my game, as it didn't really allow a lot of room for long drives, and forced approaches from the 150-175 yard range.

The first round started slowly, with 8 pars. I broke the string of pars the bad way with a bogey on #9. I failed to get it back until 13, with a birdie on the par 5. I made par on every hole on the way in for an even par 72 that included 16 pars. I had only hit 11 greens, and although I missed some good opportunities, I certainly got away with a few mistakes as well. I felt I was capable of a better score but with higher winds looming for the final round I didn't know what to expect.

The final round started similarly, even par through 4, then a birdie on 5 followed by a great par saver on 6. I finished the front 9 at one under par, then that's when I turned it on. Birdies on 10, 12, and 13 got me to 4 under par for the round and the tournament. Unfortunately, a couple of bad swings down the stretch led to a couple of bogies, and the birdie train had stopped. I had to settle for a 2 under par 70, and a total of 142 for the tournament.

As it turns out, that total was good for 6th place alone, and 3rd place among the pros. That came with my largest paycheck as a professional golfer, and now that I think about it, of my life. It's a good feeling for now, but an even better feeling knowing that there is still so much room for improvement. Now I face another off-season, but unlike last year, that ended in disappointment after missing moving on at Q School by a single shot, I ended this year on a bit of a high note. Now there's a few months where I can address some minor swing issues and make plans for 2012.

How I Play Golf

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me that I should work on my attitude regarding golf I'd probably be a millionaire...Its a funny reference, because if there's anything in the world I love more than money, it's golf!

Three years ago this Saturday I arrived in Austin, TX with all of my earthly belongings packed tight in my car. Some of the things I left back in New Hampshire included my parents, the rest of my distant family, a job as an insurance professional, my health insurance, many friends, and most importantly, hundreds of people who believed in me. All of these sacrifices were made for a single love of mine, and believe me, I love my job, but it's not money...

I started a new job, my first at a golf course outside the pro shop, making minimum wage. A 30 minute drive each way on a toll road left me quickly overwhelmed and I found myself wondering whether or not I could sustain any sort of lifestyle. However, I never questioned the goal, just the circumstances leading to it. In order to adjust, I moved closer to my job, I traded my car for a far more economic one, and eliminated a few things in my life in order to free up some funds for neccessities. Do I have any regrets? Zero.

This morning, while sharing a round that could only be described as "casual" with a friend of mine, Steve, he reminded me that I am very hard on myself, even during a "fun round". Steve is a pupil of mine, and I desperately want him to improve his golf game because I can see that he loves it in a similar manner that I do. However, this comment fell on deaf ears, as I have heard it enough times that I don't allow it to hold water anymore...I tried explaining to Steve, that no matter what I may have called myself, or said outloud, that I arrive over the next shot thinking ONLY of that shot. The fact that I got upset in the first place is only evidence of my desire to succeed. I can't tell you whether Steve believed me, or whether he can fathom the concept, but I promise you it's true.

The bottom line is, telling me that I'm too hard on myself, or too negative, or hot headed, etc. is easy. It's the easiest thing you could ever say to somebody. Nobody would ever say "Craig, stop getting upset, you're just not that good..." so it's an easy out to suggest an attitude adjustment.

I admire the players out there that can maintain a calm, cool, collected demeanor on the golf course all the time, no matter what the situation. Hunter Mahan, Rickie Fowler, The Late Payne Stewart to name a few. However, those guys are not me, and they approach the mental portion of the game as differently as they do the physical. Imagine if Rickie Fowler listened to someone that told him "The other guys don't swing like that..." and that he needed to change. Rickie Fowler has a horrific swing. If anyone else tried to hit a proper golf shot from his poisition at the top it would result in a sure shank...But, as fate would have it this swing belongs to nobody else but Rickie. It's how HE does it. He owns it.

I fully understand that my words may be choice after a bogey, a three-putt, a botched up & down, or a poor tee shot. I may refer to myself by a name I would never consider calling my biggest adversary. However, that's just how I do it. I have to release that bad energy in my body created from adversity. It's as big a flaw as Rickie's laid off backswing, but it's how I do it...If I don't, then it will affect the next shot I hit.

So how do I play golf? With passion. I play this game hard. I play it true, and I love it to death. Even if it's not always good to me...

The Path Less Traveled

In the middle of June I decided that I would take a personal leave of absence from work that would last most of the summer. I'm not much of a planner, but a trip of this magnitude had to include at least some plans...

The main reason for the trip was golf. I had planned on playing in the Greater Bangor Open in Maine in late July, followed by the New Hampshire Open the following week. After that I would have a couple of weeks until the Rhode Island Open which I would hit on the way out of town, and zip back to Texas in time to play in "Hotter than Hell", the summer version of Stephen F Austin's Survival Tournaments. After this I would finally return to Austin, return to work, and reassess my game, my life, and my aspirations going forward. Little did I know that this trip would involve so many non-golf events that would mean more to me than the golf did.

First, I stopped in Columbus, Ohio to see two of my best friends in the world for a few days. I experienced the "Thurminator", a 1.5 pound ground beef behemoth not once, but twice! I also got to experience the nightlife on the campus of The Ohio State University which was a lot of fun. The most important thing on this part of the trip however was meeting my friend Ben's now fiance, Kristen. Ben and I go way back, and needless to say, I care for him like a brother and I knew he was serious about Kristen, so it was important to him and myself that we got along...I'm sure he knows now that she has my full endorsement, he asked her to marry him about a month after my visit.

When I continued on to New Hampshire I had about three weeks until I headed to Maine for the GBO. I was fortunate to catch another college friend, Rob, in New York getting married to Nicole, they had dated since our days at Quinnipiac University. I also decided to get on the bag for a good friend in the New Hampshire Amateur. Jim Cilley is a good player, and we used to practice together when I lived in New Hampshire, so I knew his game well. However, he had never advanced beyond the round of 32 before. We both felt I could help him in this endeavor, with my green-reading ability and experience having won this very tournament 6 years ago...It was a magical week for Jim. He marched all the way to the Semifinals before he had a tight match. A miraculous shot from the woods on 16 gave him back a lead he would not relinquish, and only one man stood between him and the title, Nick MacDonald. Nick is without a doubt the best amateur golfer in the state of New Hampshire, and the defending New Hampshire Amateur Champion. The final was a battle the whole way, with lead changes and momentum shifts. Jim desperately clung to a 1-up advantage down the stretch, all the way to the final hole where he met a 6 foot par putt to win. After reading the putt, I gave Jim a spot as we had done all week. As he addressed the putt I told him sternly, "If you hit it there, you can't miss..." He rolled the ball inexorably, right at the spot I had shown him just outside of the hole. The 30 year old pumped his fist and yelled with youthful exuberance as the ball disappeared into the hole. He was met by a hug from me, then by his father who was crying uncontrollably. His father then hugged me saying through his tears, "Thank you so much, he could not have done this without you..." I had some wonderful moments during this trip, but this may have been the best of them all.

From there, I focused on my own golf game which left a lot to be desired after a week of minimal practice. I played very poorly in Bangor, and then in the New Hampshire Open as well. I was disappointed in myself and my lack of ability to play the game I love so much still. I struggled to execute even the simplest of shots and watched the players around me demonstrate why they are better time and time again. I hadn't felt this level of frustration on a golf course in a long time, and I'll be honest, I hated it. It frustrated me enough to decide against playing in the Rhode Island Open and save the $400 entry fee.

I spent the next few days on a lake with my father in Moultonborough, New Hampshire. Moultonborough may be the most beautiful place in the world during the summer, with the mountains framing the greenest of trees which ultimately give birth to the glassy waters of Lake Winnipesaukee, the perfect place to be left alone with your thoughts...

When we returned home, we decided that we'd extend our water activities and kayak a 15 mile leg of the Merrimack River the following day. This turned out to be 10 hours of kayaking, fishing, swimming, and joking that I'll never forget. The kind of day with dad that boys remember when they become fathers themselves...

From there I took a trip to Philadelphia to see another good friend Dominic marry his bride Nicole. Philadelphia was an absolute blast as well, it included some golf, poker, laughs, nightlife, and of course the wedding. I don't feel as though I left any fun behind me in Philly, I needed a full day to recover from that portion of the trip.

When I returned to New Hampshire I had just two days left before leaving for Rhode Island, where I decided I'd grab the straps for my friend Mark in the Rhode Island Open, since I wasn't competing myself. I spent those last two days laying low, and spending some precious time with my mom. When you live so far from family, you don't take an hour or two for granted anymore...

Mark was another winner of the New Hampshire Amateur (2008) and turned pro last summer and has had some success in state and city opens, he also was going to be on our team in Sealy for "Hotter than Hell" so it made sense for me to go along and then we could share the drive back to Texas. Mark played well, and I'd like to think I helped him as he fired rounds of 68, 67, 69 to claim the title by 2 shots. Regardless of how poorly I played, I feel like I could be in the running for caddy of the year, after all, I haven't lost yet...

Unfortunately for Mark it was the shortest victory celebration ever, as we had 1,900 miles in front of us, and only 42 hours to cover them by car...By this time of course I felt right at home in my car, but it didn't mean I wanted to be there. The drive went relatively smoothly, and I was glad when it was over, it felt great to be back in the greatest state in the Union!

"Hotter than Hell" offered more of the same for me. Golf that is just not quite what I used to be accustomed to. Mediocrity at best, and absolute failure to step up in a big spot and hit a big shot. We finished fourth, and made minimal money, profiting nothing for ourselves or our sponsor. The only good thing left was being able to mount up yet again and continue on to Austin.

After getting in at 11:00 Sunday night I slept in my own bed for the first time in 52 days. In that time I had driven 7,664 miles, been in 22 states, seen two weddings, an engagement, the birth of a friend's daughter, played 3 golf tournaments, caddied in two others (winning them both), laughed so hard my stomach and throat hurt, and I even cried twice...I took this trip figuring that I would have a much clearer picture of what I wanted to do with my life when I returned. I have zero regrets about this trip. Zero. However the picture is so blurry right now I can't even begin to decipher it all at this point. Perhaps it's time to walk away from golf, at least professionally. Perhaps I should look into caddying on a much more serious level. Who knows? I know that right now it feels great to be back in Austin, and I'm going to take a week or two and just reflect on my summer. I don't have to decide anything right now. I'm just so proud of myself for taking the risks I have to get to this point. No matter what happens from here, I will have no regrets. That is priceless.

Fear of Commitment

Most guys my age that are still single, like myself, are accused of being afraid of commitment. I don't always deal well with criticism, even when it's constructive...I usually fire back with something along the lines of "I'm just waiting for the right girl..." or "Why would I rush into anything if she may not be the one?" I know what you're thinking, "Isn't this blog about golf?" Yes it is.

To continue with the metaphor, a man, or a woman for that matter would never get to the alter and stand in front of his or her family, their spouse's family and friends, and most importantly in front of the Lord himself and make a commitment to someone they weren't sure they wanted to spend eternity with. After all, that is what the idea of marriage is all about, or at least what it used to be about.

Looking back on the Greater Bangor Open, now two days removed from missing the cut, I have realized that my most fundamental flaw was being committed to nothing. I wasn't committed to most of my shots, I wasn't committed to any sort of game plan for the tricky, short, and gimmicky layout of Bangor Municipal Golf Course, and most of all I wasn't committed to having fun during the tournament. I never committed to enjoying the process. I was merely concerned with the results. To go back to my metaphor of loving someone, wouldn't it be wrong to marry someone only because you wanted their money, or their children, or their house, etc.? Of course it would be...

Once I knew the cut was well out of reach for me, I decided with my very good friend Eric Goldthwaite, who was on the bag for the GBO, that I would play the final three holes using only my 7-iron. A little ode to my favorite golf movie, Tin Cup. In the movie, Kevin Costner's Character Roy McAvoy has a complete mental breakdown with his caddy during a US Open qualifier and breaks every club in his bag on the tenth tee, except his 7-iron. He plays the final nine holes in even par (successfully qualifying) using only that club which he claims to be "the only truly safe club in his bag..."

I played the final three holes par, bogey, par. This wasn't bad, especially since the last hole was a par 4 that plays as a par 5 for the members. However, after teeing off on the 16th hole, I enjoyed a walk with Eric, both of us smiling and laughing, and that's when it hit me: this was the first time I had committed to anything the entire week. We even left the bag behind, and would loop back for it after the round was completed, now that's faith in the process! For the first time all week I had fun on the golf course, and perhaps for the first time as a professional. I regret to admit that I have been making this mistake since turning pro last fall. I forgot to have fun when I played golf, as I always did when I was an amateur, and most importantly, I forgot to commit to it.

This is not to say I didn't have fun during the week. I shared a hotel room in Maine with three good friends to save some extra money and we had a blast together. The only part of the trip that wasn't great was the golf, unfortunately.

So, with the New Hampshire Open just two days away what am I to do in order to improve? Well, I need to commit. I will not play the entire tournament with a 7-iron though...On the trip back Eric and I talked over the challenges that Atkinson Country Club presents, and how to attack them properly. We devised a game plan that is tailored to my strengths as a golfer. We have decided to commit to the tournament, commit to every shot played, commit to the game plan, commit to enjoying the process, and most importantly to commit to the love and respect I have for the game of golf...

I may not be guaranteed to win. I may not be guaranteed to make a check. I may not even be guaranteed to make the cut. Commitment is a beautiful thing however, and if I can commit myself to these things which I have reflected upon then I am guaranteed one thing, and that is to not have any regrets...

Homecoming

If you read my last post, you know that I was planning on returning to my original home of New Hampshire for the better part of the summer to play in a few golf tournaments, see some family and friends, and just relax in the peaceful serenity that a summer in New England so easily provides...

I made a stop in Columbus, OH to see two of my greatest friends in the world for a couple of days. Ben Fithian, my roommate from Quinnipiac, and Kyle Coffman. Kyle recently transplanted to Columbus from Austin. It was tough to see him go, but it was great to see both of them doing well there and loving life.

I arrived here in New Hampshire Tuesday evening around 7:15 PM after 31 hours on the road and was immediately greeted by my mother. I hadn't seen her since Christmas and the reunion was nice. You know how mom's are, within an hour I had eaten about four pounds of food and been hugged more than twice with that unmistakable look in her eyes that says "I'm so happy you're home..."

Wednesday I ventured up to Canterbury Woods Country Club for my first golf since I had left Texas. I had worked at Canterbury Woods while I was in college and some after as well. It's one of those places that holds an unexplainable place in my heart, and it will remain there forever with it's rolling hills, rough terrain, and breathtaking vistas of the New England Mountains. I've had some pretty special moments there, including a few Club Championships, A New Hampshire Amateur Championship, and three consecutive Concord City Championships. The members at Canterbury Woods always kept up with my progress, and were always there to offer their congratulations on my victories, and condolences in my defeats. I had always felt like part of the family there. I was a little unsure who I would see or what the reception would be because it had been 3 years since I've stepped foot on the grounds.

Before I could even make it to the clubhouse I was greeted by a friendly face. It was Erich McLellan. I had known Erich during the "Glory Days" and he greeted me with a smile and a handshake. I told him it still gave me chills to make the drive up the long winding driveway of the club, there are just so many memories. One by one the familiar faces came into view and we greeted each other with smiles and "Great to see you!" The golf ensued from there and I was a little apprehensive as I hadn't so much as picked up a golf club for 6 days. Even the golf course greeted me warmly, I played 9 holes in 4 under par 32, without making a bogey.

Thursday was an early morning. I met my father at his place at 4 'o clock in the morning to get a head start to Vermont. He was headed there to do some fishing with his father, who didn't know I was attending as well, and didn't even know I was in the area. It was great to see my grandfather, and after reuniting a bit, three generations of Cyr men headed out to catch some fish. We fished for about 4 hours and caught 80 fish. We returned home to clean them, which I was no help with. If you've ever seen my father with a knife in his hands cleaning a fish you'd be amazed. If you've seen my grandfather, you'll know you have witnessed something truly immortal. I just stayed out of the way, because that's truly the only place I would have been...

From there we proceeded to see my grandmother and other family for dinner which was incredible. Perhaps my grandmother felt the need to cement her legacy in my mind as the greatest cook I have ever seen. After the trip home, exhausted, it was time to get some much needed sleep because the rest of this journey starts today. My time here so far has been amazing and I'm sure it's going to continue to be that way. There are still many things I look forward to doing here. The Greater Bangor Open is still three weeks away, but I'm sure the time will pass by quickly. This will be great practice for staying in the moment, not just in golf, but in life...

A Little Peace Goes a Long Way

Anyone who truly knows me knows how much I love Austin, TX. I always tell people, "There's literally something for everyone here" The people are friendly, there is always live music (among many other things to do), the golf is good, the weather is hard to beat, and even after almost three years of living here I still find the place visually stunning...

Although I'm a huge believer in loving where you are or leaving, I will soon be doing both. Not forever, but for a couple of months. After a disappointing start to the golf season I found myself contemplating my future in the game yet again. This has happened a few times before, and I never seem to be able to find any peace with a decision on either side of the spectrum. So I came up with a plan that excites me to even write about.

On June 23rd I will work a typical opening shift at UT Golf Club, except this will be my last shift there, at least until mid-August. I will pack up my car and head back to my roots in New Hampshire. After all, there's nothing like 30 hours and 2,000 miles each way in the car to do some soul searching right? Well, I do plan to break up the trip a little bit. I plan to stop off in Columbus Ohio to see a few friends, and perhaps Connecticut as well. Once I get to New Hampshire I will begin preparation for the New Hampshire Open in later July. I grew up in New Hampshire and watched many of the state's best in complete awe as a kid. Guys like Phil Pleat, Craig Steckowych, and Bob Mielcarz. I was fortunate enough to gather some talent of my own over the years and compete against these guys. Every single time was a learning experience for me. I am well-versed in New Hampshire Golf History and it would mean a great deal to me to claim the only major championship put on by the NHGA that has eluded me.

More importantly though, regardless of my finish it will allow me to pay homage to the golf association that provided me a place to compete and learn the game from the time I was about 13 right up until I left for Texas. My final memory of the NHGA was an acceptance speech I gave at Manchester Country Club in 2008, three days before leaving the state and moving to Austin. I was fortunate that year to be crowned Player of the Year. This was an incredible honor for me as a young man. To be in front of a room filled with guys I had idolized as a child and be applauded for not just one day, or one week of solid play, but an entire season. Not only that, but the venue was a sentimental favorite as well, I had won the 102nd New Hampshire Amateur at Manchester Country Club three years prior. This was the single moment in my life that I began to believe in myself and my abilities, not just as a golfer...

After the New Hampshire Open I'll head to Maine to play in the Greater Bangor Open and compete for the largest purse I have ever played for, $10,000 to the winner! That sure could help in an effort to return to Q School in the fall. In the beginning of August I will head south to Philadelphia to watch one of my best friends from college, Dominic, get married. After wishing Dom good luck as a new husband It's back north to Rhode Island for the Rhode Island Open and another sweet monetary prize will be on the line. After all of this, I plan to head back to Austin, with a stop off in Sealy the second week in August for the Annual "Hotter 'N Hell" tournament to cap off my little road trip. I'm sure it'll be great to get back to Texas, and this tournament in particular provides an unbelievably good time year in and year out.

Upon return to Austin I plan to process everything I've been through and reassess where I am and where I want to be. As disappointing as it is to leave a place I love so dearly for two months, it sure will be nice to relax in the comforts of where I grew up. At least during this time, in this place, I'll be fully at peace with myself and I'll truly be able to assess my skills as a golfer.

Another Notch in my Belt...

I own a belt buckle that I purcahsed on Ebay a while back. It's black and white (go figure) with some fancy looking designs and it has the number "63" printed right in the middle. A lot of people comment on my belt buckles as they are pretty eccentric to say the least, and because they always have a meaning...So when I wear the 63 buckle, people ask "What's the 63 stand for?" I simply respond "Best round ever..." referring to my 8 under par 63 at The University of Texas Golf Club last fall. I made 9 birdies that day against only a single bogey, my best round at UT by 3 shots. The one thing I remember about this round was an uncanny ability to get the ball in the hole on the greens. It seemed like anything inside of 15 feet was automatic.

Thursday afternoon I embarked on a playing lesson at Avery Ranch with a guy named Steve. Steve is golfer like most. He has some natural ability, with some classic flaws that are fixable when he focuses and doesn't let his mind wander from the task. If he practiced more (on the golf course) I believe he could eliminate these flaws more often and reach his goal of breaking 80 quite easily. Especially since he is a pretty darn good putter...

As we approached the first tee at Avery, Steve just went up one set of tees to the blue tee, which sort of disappointed me for two reasons. One, Steve is good enough to play the golds there, and two, I always welcome the challenge of playing the entire golf course. But oh well, he's the one paying for the lesson, so he makes the call. I make a solid par on #1, Steve stumbles a little out of the gate, but we're off and running. On #2, I started what I couldn't have even begun to imagine at the time. A putting clinic that even I would have had to see to believe. A 30 footer for birdie on two, followed by a 60 foot eagle lag for an easy birdie on three, two more birdies on 5 & 6 from 15 and 12 feet respectively. Another bomb on 8 for a birdie, and it was all capped off with a solid 12 footer poured right in the center on 9 for another birdie. Just like that a front nine 30! Steve commented jokingly about how clear it was why I was the teacher and he was the student. Then he notified me that he had enough for the day and was calling it quits. Again, I was a little disappointed, because I wanted to see how low I could go. After all, the front nine is usually the harder side at Avery Ranch...

I said my goodbyes and jetted to the 10th tee by myself to continue. Another two putt for birdie on the relatively easy par 5 tenth...Now 7 under through 10, almost uncharted territory and I'm suddenly very aware of the blood in my veins and the oxygen in my lungs, or lackthereof...I join three new guys on 11, make a good swing but catch a poor hop and have about 40 feet for birdie. Again! A bomb drops and now I'm 8 under par! I promptly follow this with a solid 7 footer for birdie on 12 to go 9 in the red, a number I have never reached before on any golf course. Now the blood is pumping faster for sure, and I'm no longer breathing involuntarily.

At this point, my three guys also decide to throw in the towel, which may have been a blessing. Alone again, I start to talk to myself, outloud I remind myself that although I've never been this far under par before, I have been close, a lot of times. So it's really nothing new. I needed to dig deep, cherish these exciting moments, and make the most of them. Focus even harder on every single shot if possible. After all, this is why we play the game of golf, to see how low we can go. People talk about what a big difference there is between 100 and 99, or 80 and 79 because it's a milestone to break 80 or break 100, etc. Well let me tell you, on this day I was 9 under with some golf course still in front of me and I think I may have considered sacrificing one of my limbs to reach double digits, at the very least, a finger...

Two pars on the next two left me with mixed emotions. I hadn't given any shots back to the golf course, but a glimmer of hope for a 59 was basically gone. I would need to birdie the last 4 holes. I started that train with a great up & down on 15 for birdie. I kept it going with a better one on the short par 4 sixteenth. I was now 11 under par. Speechless, Breathless, Salivaless, and I can't remember the last time I was this excited. I even still had a chance for 59 if I birdied the last two holes.

Unfortunately I stumbled on the penultimate hole, pushing my approach slightly, leaving a deceptively slow, downhill putt, which I left short. I struck my remaining 6 footer for par very well, but it slid painfully by the hole on the left edge and I was back to 10 under. It sounds even funnier to me now than it did at the time, saying it aloud to myself..."BACK to ten under par"

I missed the fairway on the final hole, and promptly missed the green from the fairway bunker on the right. It's easy to feel like you deserve to hit a bad shot sometimes when you've hit so many good ones throughout the day. It's a hard concept to explain, but anyone who's ever played golf knows the feeling of "owing a few" to the course. Well I may or may not have owed a few, but I wasn't giving any of them back this day. A rock solid chip came to rest just 6 inches from the hole for a cinch par, and my new best round ever, a 10 under par 62. I guess I need a new belt...

There's a First Time for Everything

Outside of Q-School last fall, I hadn't played an official event as a professional. This weekend served that opportunity for the very first time as Grey Rock Golf Club hosted The Austin Open. I got off to a good start chipping in for birdie on the opening hole. I was still dealing with some nerves in the opening stretch, but managed to recover well from my misses until a few bad breaks finally caught up with me and I finished round one with a disappointing 5 over par 75, which included a quadruple bogey 8 on the final hole. This was only half of the theatrics that Kevin Na showed us at TPC San Antonio on Thursday at the Valero Texas Open carding a 16 on the 9th hole, but needless to say I was very disappointed in myself.

I was a little out of sorts while preparing for the second and final Round. I was tied for 33rd place, 8 shots behind the leader, and worst of all, it was very windy. I have been known to play well in just about any condition (Cold, Wet, Rainy, Hot, Dry, Fast, etc.) but for some reason I just don't seem to perform well in the wind. So I spent a considerable amount of time on the range just hitting awkward shots that would stay low and not really aiming them at anything specific. I was just trying to feel myself hitting the ball solid, since this is more important than anything when playing in heavy winds.

By the end of the day, I had bettered my score by three shots shooting a two over par 72, which in comparison to the conditions was about six better as the course played to a stroke average three shots higher than day one. Only 19 of the 87 players in the field improved on their first round score in the final round.

I still felt as though I wouldn't crack the top ten and earn my first official paycheck as a golfer, however I was pleased at the grit I had shown on a windy golf course that isn't kind to someone missing their spots. As it would turn out, my 147 Total was good enough to tie for 7th place as many of the upper half of the field struggled to put it together in the afternoon. So, with my first official event as a professional comes my first official check from a golf tournament. In a very small way this is a childhood dream realized, and I am very proud, although it's just a stepping stone to where I want to be. You have to start somewhere, and there's a first time for everything...

The Austin Open will not be a Grind

The 2011 Austin Open will be held this weekend at Grey Rock Golf Club in Austin and I have been preparing for this event for a couple of months now. I started with my balky driver in February, trying to eliminate the weak fade. From there I focused on more solid iron play as well as an overall short game tune up. There have been many different methods and I've taken them all out on the golf course to see how they work in real situations.

If you watch golf on the PGA Tour, especially nowadays with players such as Bubba Watson and Tommy "Two Gloves" Gainey, you'll see that there are many different ways to play this game. Although, what most people will tell you is that the best players in the world are the best because they can "grind".

Grinding is a term used very loosely in the golf world to describe someone who is struggling with their golf swing, or faced with a relatively difficult circumstance and they seem to dig deep, focus completely on the task at hand, and get it done. I've heard this term used most commonly after a player makes a good putt, usually to save a par. An observer might say, "Wow, he was really grinding on that one. He really wanted to make it..."

Another use for the term would be when you hear a Touring Pro say, "It's a real grind out here. There's so much talent, you really have to be on top of your game if you want to stick around." or someone might even say, "The US Open is really important to Phil Mickelson, he grinds for months in preparation for it..."

Regardless of how it's said I only hear the term grind one way, and I don't like it when it's used regarding golf. If golf is a grind for you, then you need to stop playing. Golf is supposed to be relaxing and I maintain that it is the single greatest game in the world. What an insult to call it a grind! A guy who sells office supplies to support his family of five and has to meet a quota every month in order to feed his children is grinding...With one week left to make his numbers he may have to stay in the office until 9:00 PM and get back early the next morning to make cold calls, get hung up on, etc. just in order to make his quota. Golf is definitely nothing like this for me, and I sincerely hope it's not like this for anybody, regardless of their level of talent.

First of all, God Bless the man who works hard and doesn't stop in order to provide for his family. Even if he is grinding, it's incredibly noble. However, my chosen career is professional golf, and right now I don't have a family that requires my support. So is what I do a grind? Most days, I wake up at 5:40 in the morning, get ready and rush out the door to work at The University of Texas Golf Club by 6:30. I work outside for what is essentially minimum wage, wind, rain, or shine until 1:30. Then I head to my car, change into nicer clothes and head to the practice area. I will spend an hour or so there working on a concept, whatever it may be. Then I head to the course to see if I can hit the same shots on the golf course with real greens, real bunkers, uneven lies, trees, and different wind directions. After leaving the course, I practice my chipping and putting with some of the best junior golfers I have ever seen, who are out there EVERY night working on their short games until it's dark. I drive home in the dark, just as I drove to work in the morning, eat dinner very late, and go straight to bed and do it all again the next day.

Some might describe this as a grind. "He's grinding away, running himself ragged in order to do what he loves..." To be short, those people are wrong. I love the game of golf, and I love every moment that I spend learning about my game, getting better, and helping others get better as well. Even on the days it really doesn't go my way, I'm still burning with desire to learn from that experience and do it better the next time. It may look as though I'm not having fun, but my brain is literally just too busy to smile. If I didn't love it so much, perhaps I wouldn't be as good, or I'd be selling office supplies. The point is I don't like the term "grind" when referring to golf. Grinding is something people would rather not do in order to make ends meet, and there's really no other way. This is the path I've chosen for myself, and I wouldn't have it any other way...

"Cowboy Up": Lessons Taken from a Man Who Never Quit

I've been fortunate enough to forge a friendship with a new resident of Austin over the past few months. The man is Kevin Millar. There may be a few people who don't know his story around these parts, because he's mostly known for his heroic leadership of the World Champion Boston Red Sox. Growing up in New Hampshire until moving to Austin Texas in 2008, I was of course a huge fan of the Boston Red Sox. I knew who Kevin Millar was the first day I saw him at The University of Texas Golf Club in Austin. I was excited to meet him, and even more excited to hear the stories straight from the source. Kevin is a great guy, his personal story, his attitude toward sports, and toward life make him a great role model for anyone.

My last blog mentioned a tournament in the small town of Sealy, that always provides a lot of fun. After Saturday's first round, the entire team played poorly and we found ourselves an insurmountable 8 shots back from first place, and three shots into last place with only one round to go, and I had personally lost all belief in my golf swing after numerous mistakes one after another. So, if you can't win, then what's left to play for? What would Kevin tell you? Probably something to the effect of, "Who cares?! You can't just lay down and die! Fight!" So that's exactly what we did. We headed to the driving range to try to find something we could all believe in, while others in the tournament drank heavily, gambled on the putting green, and enjoyed the fruits of their early success in other ways. Hours later, we all felt we had found something in our respective golf games that we could believe in. We entered the final day, knowing that we had literally no chance of catching first place, or even second place (the last place payed out), but we knew we had to make a statement that we were not the worst team out there.

After a fairly solid start, we faced a tough finishing stretch of 5 holes, with two long par threes, and a par 5 with a tucked pin. We birdied the first long par three, but followed it with a par. Now with just three holes remaining, we were 11 under par, on a golf course where 16 under in this format is considered an OK score...We birdied the first, then Greg made a long bending putt on the par three second to keep our momentum alive. Now, just the par five third hole remained. My friend Mark Stevens, who joined our team from Florida unleashed a perfect tee ball, leaving us a mere 165 yards from the hole. From there, I placed a nine iron about 20 feet from the tucked back left hole location. After Greg just missed the putt, I set my sights on my line, and rolled it what I thought was perfectly, only to watch the ball peek in the top side of the hole before painfully sliding by. Leaving us just one more attempt, by Mark. After adjusting only slightly from the line I chose, Mark stroked the ball beautifully, it never left it's line, and never wavered until it hit the back of the hole with perfect speed, disappearing for an eagle three. We had finished with a 15 under par 56, 6 shots better than our day one total, which was played in easier conditions.

After everyone finished, we learned that we had tied another team at 56 for the lowest score of the day in the tournament. This was worth $1,050 in "day money". Even sweeter than that, to me, was that we beat another team in our flight by 4 on the day, passing them for the tournament by a single shot, and not finishing in last place. We "cowboyed up" as Kevin would say, and after some quick math we learned that shooting a 57 would have been worth a mere $250 in "day money" and so that final hole eagle was worth $800! An opportunity that wouldn't have even been there without the grit and determination we had shown all day long, or without the dedication to improvement the day before. Another weekend in Sealy is in the books, and although I didn't return with profits this time, there was yet another valuable lesson learned in not giving up...

Survival of the Fittest

At the end of this week, myself and two friends will take part in one of the most entertaining weekends of the year. The main event, and the reason we'll be making the trip is the annual Survival Scramble, held at Stephen F. Austin Golf Club in San Felipe, Texas. This two day event never ceases to amaze me, and by the end of the weekend I always seem to walk away with more entertainment from the non-golf activities. A saying comes to mind, and I don't know exactly what it is so I won't try to quote it exactly. Its something like: "It's not where you are, but the company you're with..." This saying couldn't be more fitting when talking about this tournament, and this weekend.

Imagine an average golf tournament, not the most prestigious one you've seen, just an average event. Now, clear that image from your mind completely because there's NOTHING normal, or average about this event. There is some money to be made if you can play well despite the traditionally challenging elements that late January provides in East Texas (hence the name of the event). In past events I have literally seen it all. Holes in one, eagles, triumph, defeat, anguish and despair. All of these things you could see at a normal tournament. But at the Survival Scramble you see them from the least likely of sources. From overweight shirtless men, from their girlfriends who are so intoxicated that they prefer not to step out of the golf cart, and even from the stray dogs that roam the property and share in the excitement from time to time.

Upon my last trip to Sealy (the neighboring town to San Felipe, and shares border with the course) I tried to describe to the team, in the nicest way possible, how I liked the course. My exact words were, "It's the nicest little dump I've ever played..." I know it sounds bad, but I would bet a fair amount of money that even the boys in Sealy wouldn't be offended by that comment...Because the folks in East Texas are some of the nicest, and most sincere of anyone that I've ever known. From the first time I visited I was taken in like family. These people aren't trying to kid anybody. The golf course is short, the trees are tall, and the greens are tiny. No real challenge for the new equipment that has revolutionized the game over the last 15 years...It's no secret that this golf course was left behind in the 80's and it's also no secret that the locals wouldn't have it any other way. However, it provides a formidable challenge in an event like this, where often times, you are standing over the ball with nothing to lose and you might as well try to hit that 75 yard hook over those 100 year old oak trees so you can get home in two...

But again, like I said the entertainment mostly comes off the golf course when you're in Sealy. When directions to THE restaurant in town include "go across the tracks" and "past the tractor dealership" and "if you get to Annie Jo's ya gone too far..." you just know you're in Sealy. There's really nothing like it, and I know I sound condescending, but it's a place I hold near and dear to my heart, and I can't wait to return there once again this weekend. With any luck, maybe I'll return home with some much needed cash to help fund another trip to Q School at the end of the year, but I'll certainly come back home to Austin with more fond memories of an East Texas town, Southern Hospitality, and a smile on my face...