A Jagged Little Pill

The final round at Kingwood will probably stick with me for the rest of my life. Right now I sit, still processing every shot I hit throughout the entire week. No matter how I add it up, the end result was a score of 289, 1 over par, and 1 shot from moving on to Stage Two...

Even if one of the 8 players who finished at even par scored one shot worse I would have gotten in by a tie for the last position. This is, and will remain incredibly hard to swallow. Its hard to sit here and thnk positive going forward, knowing that I came so gut-wrenchingly close. But I can share one thing that I am incredibly proud of from today. I left everything on that golf course.

From the beginning of the round, thanks to some advice from close friends and family I was deep into a game plan and that was "commit to every shot 100%, no matter what..." I knew if I didn't I could spend the rest of my life wondering, "what if..."

In a week when I struggled to find the swing I know I possess, I dug deep enough to hit 17 of the 18 greens around the final loop of Kingwood. I hit many fairways, hit great recovery shots when I missed them, and even hit the last two par 5's in two shots with time running out despite the eminent danger surrounding both of them. I made my final bogey of the tournament on my 11th hole of the day, putting me at +3 overall and needing something special to move on. For the final 7 holes I played absolutely fearless golf and it felt incredible.

I was probably as nervous as I have ever been on a golf course during the closing stretch but it all turned into positive energy to concentrate, dig deeper, and pull off the shot I desperately needed. For anyone who has ever competed at anything, you know that there is no better feeling than to perform well when your body is literally saturated with adrenaline.

The only thing that let me down today was the one element that seemed to be there all week, my putter. I missed many birdie attempts, the two eagle putts, and one crucial par saver on #11. 34 putts was one too many for this day, and a one under par 71 was as well. It sure is a bitter taste now, but at least I had a shot, and more importantly, I took it.

Pack it Up...

Moving day at Kingwood proved to be a stearn test. A test I failed miserably...Finally all of the bad swings and poor shots I've been making with regularity this week caught up with me. My complete inability to drive the ball in the fairway cost me dearly and never more than the 17th hole which led to a triple bogey 8.

A five over par 77 was the end result of an 18 hole battle that lasted over 6 hours yet again. I've now shot myself out of position going into the final round and will need to make up some ground if I want to continue on this march through Q-School.

As of right now I am tied for 31st place at two over par, and with only 22 positions available to move on that means I'll be forced to throw up a low number tomorrow or pack my bags. Sometimes this can actually make it easy on a player because there are fewer decisions to make, you know what has to be done. However, this week for me has been all about hanging on and I've been in little control of my golf ball. This will make forcing it tomorrow extremely difficult. As far as I see it there's only one thing I can do, try me best.

Pass the Dramamine

(Photo by Robert Salas)

Day two in Kingwood proved to be little different than day one. A 9:15 departure from the 10th tee immediately sent me right, just like the day before. After a terrible second shot, I was left with about 50 yards from a bunker for my third into the short par 5. A brilliant touch from the soft sand left me a difficult 7 footer for birdie which I promptly poured into the center of the hole. I started to think that maybe this good start would allow me to settle in and play the rock solid round of golf I know I am capable of. Unfortunately, that story has to wait at least one more day, because today the roller coaster continued and I was pleased to get off before throwing up...

My great start continued as I was 2 under par through 5 holes before inexplicably flying a 6 iron clear over the green from 190 yards into the wind which settled in a flower bed and led to a double bogey which cost me all of my insurance runs. From there I struggled for par a few times and completed my first nine at even par.

My second nine started like my first, with a birdie. Unfortunately it only lasted one hole as I drove it left for the first time the whole tournament on the second hole. However, I rebounded instantly and made birdie on the par 5 third. All was well until the difficult par 3 sixth, which shows more water than grass. Another poor swing found the water and after a drop I wedged to 25 feet which was miraculously holed for a bogey and I returned yet again to even par. Another tee shot lost to the right on the 7th found the trees and I was blocked out. It appeared I could easily be over par for the first time all day unless I did something special. After a short pep talk from Robert, I chose to attempt a 40 yard slice with a 7-iron around the trees obstructing me from the green that sat 175 yards away. The shot was executed beautifully. It took off against azure sky and immediately took a right turn around the trees and toward the green. All I could ask for was a chance to make an up and down and save par but my ball managed to hop and roll all the way onto the front of the green. Still 60 feet away, Robert reminded me, "This putt is slow, get it to the hole, drop a bomb!" I did, dead center. Back to one under par for the day with my 5th birdie. I missed the 8th green in a bunker and made another save from a precarious position. Two good shots on the final hole left me just 18 feet away from the score I shot on the first day. A pure putt just slid by the right edge, peeking into the hole before lipping out.

I would have to settle for a one under par 71, but yet again today could have been a lot worse. Thanks to a nearly flawless short game I was able to keep the damage to a minimum when I made mistakes and capitalize with birdies when I made good swings. Even though it was another roller coaster ride that I'd prefer not to have, I am tied for 14th, and still in position to make the cut and move on to Stage two next month. Tomorrow will be a good test for everyone in the field as the wind is supposed to pick up to about 25 MPH and blow the opposite direction. "Moving Day" will be pivotal to everyones success in this tournament. In tomorrow's wind I will try to keep the ball low, but I will be moving up the leaderboard.

When it's Alright to Steal

(Photo by Robert Salas)

From the moment you were old enough to be told what is right and wrong you were probably told not to steal. It's even one of the ten commandments. Today, on the links of Kingwood's Forest Course I found an instance where it's allowed, and actually a good thing.

Over the course of my two practice rounds I struggled to hit the ball properly and kept losing it to the right over and over again, to the point that I couldn't control it. I sat on the driving range and even tried to hit just hooks for thirty minutes, to no avail. The only thing I knew for sure was, it was going to go right and all I could manage to do was try to control how far right it went. I went to bed last night hoping that this apparent swing flaw would stay in bed as I snuck away for the first round of the PGA Tour Qualifying Tournament.

As a competitor this has happened before. I can recall numerous times where I hit the ball terribly leading up to a big event, or even on the driving range warming up before an important round. I always seemed to find a way to strike it purely and with control when the time came.

However, when the bell rang today I stood on the first tee with extremely uneasy feelings about my ability to control the golf ball. I even switched back to my old irons that were in the trunk during my warm up because I was hitting it so badly. To make matters worse it was quite windy today and that doesn't bode well for a guy who's not in control to start.

All day long I felt as though I was stealing shots from the golf course as I would narrowly avoid trouble, usually on the right. I managed to make six birdies despite my relative distrust in my swing. That's right, six! Unfortunately the birdies were met by four bogies, but all told a two under par 70 was far better than I could imagine standing on that first tee. I finished the day tied for 13th place, and inside the magic number by two shots. Hopefully tomorrow will be another good day on the links, and I'm hoping its a slightly more honest one...

Jeremiah was NOT a Bullfrog...

Some very dear friends of mine have been kind enough to contribute financially to help with the expenses I will incur in the coming months on my journey through Q School. One of them in particular not only left a check, but some words from the good book. They were as follows:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

I found these words very inspiring. Some people might tell you that I don't seem like a spiritual person because I am "too logical". For the record, although I may not go to church every Sunday, and although I think very logically at times, I am a deeply spiritual human being.

It would be so incredibly easy to get caught up in all of the pressure that comes with Q School. The process is long, grueling, and there is what seems to be a bottomless pool of players that are all talented enough to play this game for a living. However only a very small percentage actually get the opportunity.

Before turning pro and deciding to give Q School a try, I had a seat next to a man who plays golf at The University of Texas Golf Club, where I work and hone my game. He wanted to know what my biggest fear was. I wanted to say failure, but I said I didn't really have an answer. Apparently I didn't feel intimate enough to reveal that this is not only my biggest fear, but probably my only fear...The man asked if I knew what his biggest fear was. As I waited for his response sensing his rhetoric he said, "failure....it's what drove me to succeed my whole life."

I ultimately realized after this conversation that failure doesn't have to be feared, it has to be avoided. I could use a fear of failure as motivation to succeed, much like this gentleman had. This was the last word of encouragement I needed to make the decision to turn professional and enter Q School.

Now back to Jeremiah. The fantastic thing about these words hit me days later when I was recounting the story I just told. What is failure at this point in my life as a golfer? Not getting a PGA Tour Card? Not making it to the Final Stage? Not advancing past Stage One in Houston 3 weeks from now? No. Failure would be not trying at all. Failure would be if I didn't go out and give 100% every day in order to be as good as I can be. Maybe I can use failure as motivation to succeed going forward, but I've already succeeded. I'm living the dream. I'm going for it, and I'm being all that I can be at the game I love more than anything in the world. It's just nice to be reminded that no matter what my future holds after this is all over, there is a plan for me, and this is a part of it.