The Best Day of My Life

Nothing new here. I just felt inspired to write, and about this topic in particular...

It was July 16th, 2005. I woke up for the first time at 4:03 am. This wasn't atypical, waking up in the middle of the night. Except this time I wouldn't just roll over and go back to sleep until the sound of my alarm clock woke me. This day was to be the best day of my life, but I didn't know it yet. It took forever to get to sleep that night. Knowing that when I woke up, I would take a shower and get ready like any other day, it was anything but that. I would tee off at 8:00 sharp in the 36-Hole Championship Match of the New Hampshire Amateur.

When I went to bed I lied there and went through all the shots I would need at Manchester Country Club the following day. This is an exercise I usually go through, partly because it helps me prepare mentally to execute the shots when it actually comes time, but also because after I've imagined playing just a few holes, I drift off to sleep. I actually fell asleep fairly quickly, probably due to the fact that I had already played 116 holes of competitive golf in the humid heat of the New Hampshire Summer that week.

It's amazing how you can forget things when you first wake up. Sometimes you're even out of the shower before you remember that you were fired the day before, or that you lost a member of your family. It's hard to picture your life being so different, but at least you have those few moments of blissful ignorance until you wake up all the way. This morning, I remembered as soon as I cracked my eyelids. In some ways I don't think I ever actually fell asleep all the way. My mind returned to the golf course and the shots I would need in order to maneuver it successfully as I had all week in hopes of catching another couple hours of sleep. I wouldn't be so lucky. After about 30 minutes I realized that it was hopeless and just got out of bed. I turned on my TV and watched a tape I recorded of Tiger Woods winning the 2000 PGA Championship in an epic duel with Bob May at Valhalla. Tiger won in a playoff after the two traded blows all day long. Neither man would blink and by the time the back nine came along it was a two horse race, almost a match play situaton. I remember how calm Tiger seemed, and how he responded to every great shot Bob May hit (and there were several) with a great shot of his own. He never got too high, and he never got too low. I'd seen highlights of this tournament about 25 times, and I'm sure I'll watch it 100 more times before I'm done.

By the time my mother woke up she was surprised to see me awake already. Of course she asked the normal questions: "How'd you sleep?" "Want some breakfast?" "Are you ready?" I answered: "Not very long or well." "That'd be great." and "God, I hope so..." Bless my mom's heart, she would've killed the cow herself in order to make me steak & eggs that morning if that's what I wanted, but I was so nervous my stomach was in knots. I just wanted a couple pieces of toast, the way my mother makes it. Mothers always have that unbelievable ability to put the perfect amount of butter on toast, I'm sure I'll never get it right the way she does. Even though it was perfect, as it always is, I couldn't eat but three bites of it. I knew I would wish I had food in my stomach when the middle of the day rolled around, but I just couldn't get it down. It was time to leave.

I arrived at the course as I had all week, about 45 minutes early. Just enough time to roll a few putts, go through a quick warmup on the range, then putt a few more before heading to the tee. By the time I got there the scene was surreal. The first tee at Manchester Country Club is about 30 feet from their patio, and there was about 150 people watching as myself and my opponent, Mike Peters, were announced as the two remaining players in a field that started with 360. I had never been this nervous in my life. I told my father, who was on the bag for me, and he simply responded, "I know you're nervous, I am too. When was the last time you were this excited about anything in your life?" This is when I realized that they were good nerves, not bad ones. I was excited to win, not afraid to lose.

The morning 18 went very well. I seized opportunities when I had them, and scrambled to halve holes when I found trouble. I stood on the 17th tee 4 up. This is where I made my first big mistake of the day, making a sloppy bogey and losing my first hole of the match. This is when I remembered Tiger and his even keel that final round in 2000. Don't get me wrong, inside I was pissed, but I had to go on. There was only one hole left until our lunch break and I didn't want poor momentum lingering around as I tried to choke down a sandwich. On the final hole of the morning I hit a good drive, setting up a good angle to a very difficult hole location. From there I placed my ball with surgeon-like precision 6 feet below the hole. I made the putt to win the hole with a birdie, regain my 4 up lead, and most importantly, win back my momentum during lunchtime.

It was hot this day, like it was all week. About 95 degrees, sunny, and humid. At 90% humidity, 95 degrees feels like 110, and you will sweat through any garment you choose to put on, it's extremely taxing. I remember choosing to eat lunch outside so that my body wouldn't get into dry, cool air and start to relax. I ordered half of a tuna sandwich, knowing that I wouldn't be able to keep a whole one down. I ate half of the half sandwich and surrendered. "Just put me in coach, I want the ball..."

I further seized control at the beginning of the afternoon round. In my mind it was because I didn't relax during lunch as Mike had. After ten holes I was 6 up with only 8 holes to play, and in match play if you are ahead by more holes than there are remaining, you just end the match right away. I was within an hour of becoming the New Hampshire Amateur Champion! Not so fast, my opponent won the next two holes and quickly reduced my advantage to 4. On the par three 13th, Mike had hit it to about 12 feet, and I was a monsterous 40 feet away. It looked as though I could lose my third hole in a row and be well on my way to losing a huge lead I spent all day building...I stuck to my routine, took my practice strokes and set the ball along its way, about 6 feet left of the hole to accomodate for the break in the severely sloped Donald Ross green. As the ball approached the hole with good pace I realized that I was assured a two-putt and wouldn't lose the hole unless Mike converted his birdie. As the ball was within two feet I realized it was perfectly on line and there was no way it could miss. I raised both my hands in the air triumphantly as the ball disappeared for a birdie two, and the crowd went nuts as well. After trying to settle back in, Mike just missed his putt and I stole one back and was 5 up with 5 to play. All I had to do was tie one more hole to win the match, and the Championship. He would fend me off on the first of these five holes with a billiant shot from the fairway. But on the 15th hole after a solid teeshot and a wedge to the center of the green, I was left with about 20 feet for birdie and two putts would secure the win. Again I stuck to my routine, and rolled the putt to within a foot and a half. As Mike approached me and removed his cap I realized he was conceding the match to me and I was the New Hampshire Amateur Champion...I was overcome with emotion. I met Mike halfway and shook his hand. I congratulated him on a match well played and he congratulated me on my most recent success, telling me that I "deserved it the way I played..."

Time stood still for the next thirty minutes as friends and family that had come out to watch hugged me and congratulated me. I am a pretty emotional guy, but somehow I didn't cry during this increible celebration. I guess it was because it was exactly how I had pictured it.

There was a small ceremony back at the cubhouse and I gave a short speech thanking the New Hampshire Golf Assoiation and Manchester Country Club for putting on the event. I answered a few questions from local reporters, all the while with my new, bright silver trophy clutched in my arms.

The day wasn't over yet. The best part was yet to come. I went home and changed quickly then it was off to where I had learned to play the game. Duston Country Club in Hopkinton, about 40 minutes away. There was a crowd of golfers anxiously following my match online all day as no golfer from this small 9-hole club had ever come close to winning anything this prestigious before...As I approaced the entrance with the trophy the door flung open and I literally ran into the restaurant holding the trophy above my head, and there was a cheer as loud as I can ever remember for a solid minute. There were no words, all of the appreciation was shown in sheer volume. I haven't smiled so wide in my life before or since.

From there I spent the evening with dear friends and family, telling the stories of the week over and over again. I couldn't scrub that smile off of my face with steel wool...The thing I will always remember about that party, and that club in general was how everyone spoke to my parents. They were always so complimentary of both myself and my brother Keith. Always telling them that they had raised two fine young men and that they couldn't be happier for me and my acheivements. I'm sure that they were both proud, but it meant so much to me to be able to show them how good of a job they did with me on such a public stage. It was very special to pay them back even a little for everything they did for me growing up. It was the best day of my life.

A Jagged Little Pill

The final round at Kingwood will probably stick with me for the rest of my life. Right now I sit, still processing every shot I hit throughout the entire week. No matter how I add it up, the end result was a score of 289, 1 over par, and 1 shot from moving on to Stage Two...

Even if one of the 8 players who finished at even par scored one shot worse I would have gotten in by a tie for the last position. This is, and will remain incredibly hard to swallow. Its hard to sit here and thnk positive going forward, knowing that I came so gut-wrenchingly close. But I can share one thing that I am incredibly proud of from today. I left everything on that golf course.

From the beginning of the round, thanks to some advice from close friends and family I was deep into a game plan and that was "commit to every shot 100%, no matter what..." I knew if I didn't I could spend the rest of my life wondering, "what if..."

In a week when I struggled to find the swing I know I possess, I dug deep enough to hit 17 of the 18 greens around the final loop of Kingwood. I hit many fairways, hit great recovery shots when I missed them, and even hit the last two par 5's in two shots with time running out despite the eminent danger surrounding both of them. I made my final bogey of the tournament on my 11th hole of the day, putting me at +3 overall and needing something special to move on. For the final 7 holes I played absolutely fearless golf and it felt incredible.

I was probably as nervous as I have ever been on a golf course during the closing stretch but it all turned into positive energy to concentrate, dig deeper, and pull off the shot I desperately needed. For anyone who has ever competed at anything, you know that there is no better feeling than to perform well when your body is literally saturated with adrenaline.

The only thing that let me down today was the one element that seemed to be there all week, my putter. I missed many birdie attempts, the two eagle putts, and one crucial par saver on #11. 34 putts was one too many for this day, and a one under par 71 was as well. It sure is a bitter taste now, but at least I had a shot, and more importantly, I took it.

Pack it Up...

Moving day at Kingwood proved to be a stearn test. A test I failed miserably...Finally all of the bad swings and poor shots I've been making with regularity this week caught up with me. My complete inability to drive the ball in the fairway cost me dearly and never more than the 17th hole which led to a triple bogey 8.

A five over par 77 was the end result of an 18 hole battle that lasted over 6 hours yet again. I've now shot myself out of position going into the final round and will need to make up some ground if I want to continue on this march through Q-School.

As of right now I am tied for 31st place at two over par, and with only 22 positions available to move on that means I'll be forced to throw up a low number tomorrow or pack my bags. Sometimes this can actually make it easy on a player because there are fewer decisions to make, you know what has to be done. However, this week for me has been all about hanging on and I've been in little control of my golf ball. This will make forcing it tomorrow extremely difficult. As far as I see it there's only one thing I can do, try me best.

Pass the Dramamine

(Photo by Robert Salas)

Day two in Kingwood proved to be little different than day one. A 9:15 departure from the 10th tee immediately sent me right, just like the day before. After a terrible second shot, I was left with about 50 yards from a bunker for my third into the short par 5. A brilliant touch from the soft sand left me a difficult 7 footer for birdie which I promptly poured into the center of the hole. I started to think that maybe this good start would allow me to settle in and play the rock solid round of golf I know I am capable of. Unfortunately, that story has to wait at least one more day, because today the roller coaster continued and I was pleased to get off before throwing up...

My great start continued as I was 2 under par through 5 holes before inexplicably flying a 6 iron clear over the green from 190 yards into the wind which settled in a flower bed and led to a double bogey which cost me all of my insurance runs. From there I struggled for par a few times and completed my first nine at even par.

My second nine started like my first, with a birdie. Unfortunately it only lasted one hole as I drove it left for the first time the whole tournament on the second hole. However, I rebounded instantly and made birdie on the par 5 third. All was well until the difficult par 3 sixth, which shows more water than grass. Another poor swing found the water and after a drop I wedged to 25 feet which was miraculously holed for a bogey and I returned yet again to even par. Another tee shot lost to the right on the 7th found the trees and I was blocked out. It appeared I could easily be over par for the first time all day unless I did something special. After a short pep talk from Robert, I chose to attempt a 40 yard slice with a 7-iron around the trees obstructing me from the green that sat 175 yards away. The shot was executed beautifully. It took off against azure sky and immediately took a right turn around the trees and toward the green. All I could ask for was a chance to make an up and down and save par but my ball managed to hop and roll all the way onto the front of the green. Still 60 feet away, Robert reminded me, "This putt is slow, get it to the hole, drop a bomb!" I did, dead center. Back to one under par for the day with my 5th birdie. I missed the 8th green in a bunker and made another save from a precarious position. Two good shots on the final hole left me just 18 feet away from the score I shot on the first day. A pure putt just slid by the right edge, peeking into the hole before lipping out.

I would have to settle for a one under par 71, but yet again today could have been a lot worse. Thanks to a nearly flawless short game I was able to keep the damage to a minimum when I made mistakes and capitalize with birdies when I made good swings. Even though it was another roller coaster ride that I'd prefer not to have, I am tied for 14th, and still in position to make the cut and move on to Stage two next month. Tomorrow will be a good test for everyone in the field as the wind is supposed to pick up to about 25 MPH and blow the opposite direction. "Moving Day" will be pivotal to everyones success in this tournament. In tomorrow's wind I will try to keep the ball low, but I will be moving up the leaderboard.

When it's Alright to Steal

(Photo by Robert Salas)

From the moment you were old enough to be told what is right and wrong you were probably told not to steal. It's even one of the ten commandments. Today, on the links of Kingwood's Forest Course I found an instance where it's allowed, and actually a good thing.

Over the course of my two practice rounds I struggled to hit the ball properly and kept losing it to the right over and over again, to the point that I couldn't control it. I sat on the driving range and even tried to hit just hooks for thirty minutes, to no avail. The only thing I knew for sure was, it was going to go right and all I could manage to do was try to control how far right it went. I went to bed last night hoping that this apparent swing flaw would stay in bed as I snuck away for the first round of the PGA Tour Qualifying Tournament.

As a competitor this has happened before. I can recall numerous times where I hit the ball terribly leading up to a big event, or even on the driving range warming up before an important round. I always seemed to find a way to strike it purely and with control when the time came.

However, when the bell rang today I stood on the first tee with extremely uneasy feelings about my ability to control the golf ball. I even switched back to my old irons that were in the trunk during my warm up because I was hitting it so badly. To make matters worse it was quite windy today and that doesn't bode well for a guy who's not in control to start.

All day long I felt as though I was stealing shots from the golf course as I would narrowly avoid trouble, usually on the right. I managed to make six birdies despite my relative distrust in my swing. That's right, six! Unfortunately the birdies were met by four bogies, but all told a two under par 70 was far better than I could imagine standing on that first tee. I finished the day tied for 13th place, and inside the magic number by two shots. Hopefully tomorrow will be another good day on the links, and I'm hoping its a slightly more honest one...

Jeremiah was NOT a Bullfrog...

Some very dear friends of mine have been kind enough to contribute financially to help with the expenses I will incur in the coming months on my journey through Q School. One of them in particular not only left a check, but some words from the good book. They were as follows:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

I found these words very inspiring. Some people might tell you that I don't seem like a spiritual person because I am "too logical". For the record, although I may not go to church every Sunday, and although I think very logically at times, I am a deeply spiritual human being.

It would be so incredibly easy to get caught up in all of the pressure that comes with Q School. The process is long, grueling, and there is what seems to be a bottomless pool of players that are all talented enough to play this game for a living. However only a very small percentage actually get the opportunity.

Before turning pro and deciding to give Q School a try, I had a seat next to a man who plays golf at The University of Texas Golf Club, where I work and hone my game. He wanted to know what my biggest fear was. I wanted to say failure, but I said I didn't really have an answer. Apparently I didn't feel intimate enough to reveal that this is not only my biggest fear, but probably my only fear...The man asked if I knew what his biggest fear was. As I waited for his response sensing his rhetoric he said, "failure....it's what drove me to succeed my whole life."

I ultimately realized after this conversation that failure doesn't have to be feared, it has to be avoided. I could use a fear of failure as motivation to succeed, much like this gentleman had. This was the last word of encouragement I needed to make the decision to turn professional and enter Q School.

Now back to Jeremiah. The fantastic thing about these words hit me days later when I was recounting the story I just told. What is failure at this point in my life as a golfer? Not getting a PGA Tour Card? Not making it to the Final Stage? Not advancing past Stage One in Houston 3 weeks from now? No. Failure would be not trying at all. Failure would be if I didn't go out and give 100% every day in order to be as good as I can be. Maybe I can use failure as motivation to succeed going forward, but I've already succeeded. I'm living the dream. I'm going for it, and I'm being all that I can be at the game I love more than anything in the world. It's just nice to be reminded that no matter what my future holds after this is all over, there is a plan for me, and this is a part of it.

Fragile Toes and the Southern Texas PGA

I've just arrived home in Austin after a successful week in San Antonio, qualifying for the first stage of Q School. I had a final round 78 that was better than the scorecard would indicate, and comfortably made the cut by 7 shots.

I was successful this week thanks to a number of people and good fortune. First off, Robert Salas drove from Austin to San Antonio 5 days this week to carry the bag and offer advice along the way out of the kindness of his heart as he has done many times in local events as well. I know I'm not always easy to deal with but I hope he enjoys our time together and it doesn't always feel like work. Second, Jenna Amber Herandez was kind enough to lend me the loft in her apartment this week only 10 minutes away from the course to save me some money on a hotel. Every little bit helps, and it's always better to have some human interaction before and after a tournament round rather than hotel walls staring blankly back at you. Also, a thanks to all of the well wishers who would call, text, or email. It means a lot to know that y'all are pulling for me every step of the way. And yes, I did just use the word "y'all".

Two forgettable parts of the week that I want to make note of now that the tournament has come and gone. My (still) broken little toe on my right foot is healing, but still quite a nuiscance. I think I'll try and give it a rest as soon as possible after walking over 100 holes on it right after breaking it. Second, the Southern Texas PGA definitely fouled this tournament up from start to finish. There were a laundry list of problems throughout the week, with a field of only 81 professionals. I am proudly a Texan, but by the end of this tournament I found myself embarrassed for the chapter in front of the other pros from all over the country and all over the world. Luckily, not all of these snags affected me, and I was able to endure the ones that did.

I will find out where and when I will tee it up next on September 28th. I have asked to be placed in Texas, either Houston or Lantana. So, until the end of this month I'll have my fingers crossed...

See, Feel, and Trust.

After an uninspired second round I arrived at the course early to prepare for "moving day" on Thursday. Tour players affectionately name the next to last round "moving day" because players jockey for position going into the final round. Most of the players teeing off in the afternoon found things to complain about. I found it slightly humorous: "It's going to take at least five and a half hours to play today..." "It's gonna be so hot today..." These people are playing in the afternoon because they're in the upper portion of the field, and poised to easily go on to the next level if they just focus and get to work.

As I went through some early swipes on the practice tee I found myself looking for a swing thought that I could take to the course. This is when I remembered a book I recently read by Dr. David Cook called "Golf's Sacred Journey" In the book the main character, a professional golfer, is at the end of his rope when a man comes into his life and teaches him not only how to get his golf game in order, but his life as well. He teaches him to See, Feel, and Trust all of his decisions. I decided that I would take this philosophy to the course rather than a swing thought. I know I have the game to hit any shot out there, I just need to be committed to my decisions.

I marked my golf ball with "SFT" as done in the story and proceeded to shoot a two under par 70 highlighted by an electrifying eagle on the 565 yard par five 6th hole. I definitely made a move in the right direction this moving day as I am now tied for 5th place with just the final round remaining. So here's what is probable for tomorrow: It will probably be another slow round. It will probably be hot again. Now here's what I know about tomorrow: I will tee off at 11:55. I will See, Feel, and Trust every shot. And I will be wearing orange...

Round Two Highlights

Round two started early and early in the round I needed to wake up again. A missed drive to the right on the 5th hole led to a double bogey that could have easily been worse. The struggle continued on the following hole when I missed the green from about 100 yards and that led to another bogey. A good par save on the 7th stopped the bleeding but the day grew to be more and more stale. I missed shot after shot, and when a good one was thrown in there I found myself completely incapable of converting the birdie putt. I managed to wiggle two birdies home on the back nine, however they were met with two more bogies ad my round totaled 75.

I never felt right today. As disappointed as I am with how I played, the number on the scorecard was not that bad. 146 for two rounds on this golf course certainly hasn't put me out of position. I'm still in a good spot heading into the third round tomorrow.

The Number One

(Photo by Robert Salas)

A lot has been made of the number one this week. I'll start with the good news. My first event as a professional is The PGA Tour Qualifying Tournament. TPC San Antonio's Canyons Course plays host this week for the Pre-Qualifying. In honor of my first event, and first round as a professional I played a Titleist 1. Also, the first hole was quite indicative of how the round would go. A drive down the middle of the fairway left a good angle to the back hole location. A solid wedge shot left about 9 feet for birdie and the putt peered into the hole before rolling 8 inches or so past for an easy par. I played solidly most of the day, making three birdies against just two bogies and posted a one under par 71 on the demanding layout. Tournament one, Round One, Ball #1, Hole One, One Under par. Unfortunately I am not in first place, but I am comfortably placed on the scoreboard and three more rounds like this one will definitely do the trick.

The unfortunate detail involving the number 1 is that I am operating on one less toe than everybody else in the field this week. A bizarre incident while packing Saturday night left my little toe on my right foot broken, severely bruised, and swollen. After icing, medicating, and coaxing my right foot into a golf shoe Sunday afternoon for my first practice round I immediately wanted back out of the shoe. The pain was immense. I quickly found a new stride, walking on the inside of my right foot to relieve pressure, which in turn made my entire right leg sore in places I didn't know existed. The one positive thing I took away from the course on Sunday was that the injury did not appear to affect my swing, just the long walks between shots were excruciating. Because of this I decided to forgo my second practice round on Monday in exchange for rest. I just played the back nine in untied tennis shoes, which still didn't feel great.

After more ice, more Aleve, and a little more coaxing I got my foot back into a golf shoe this morning and was able to play some decent golf despite the distraction literally every step of the way. Now its back to the ice until tomorrow morning when I get to do it all again.

Who Wants a Piece of Me?

With the PGA Tour Qualifying Tournament on the horizon I felt I should get the word out there that I am looking for investors. I have created a detailed expense list for my endeavor to Q School and broken the entire cost into 100 equal shares. For less than $100 you could own a piece of me and this venture. If you're interested and you have my phone number that's the best way to reach me. If you don't have my number, rather than post it on here just send me an email at mrcraigcyr@gmail.com and we can either talk via email or I'll send you my phone number.

I've been at it pretty hard, practicing daily. I've been trying my best to really focus on one part of my game each time I practice, and not leaving until I feel I've learned something and gotten better at it. This has been a steady process and I'm impressed with the results in such a short time frame. A little focus goes a long way in this game.

Putting the "Q" in "PRO"

Tuesday morning started like any other morning for me in Austin, except I knew a HUGE choice in my life was to be made before noon. Would I sign up for the PGA Tour Qualifying Tournament (affectionately known as "Q School") to be held this fall? I phoned Robert Salas, as he has witnessed more of my recent golf than anyone breathing, and knows my game better than myself at times. I expected a longer conversation. I simply asked him "What do you think? Should I go?" Robert replied with a very confident "Of course! You have the talent, why not?" That was all that needed to be said. I went online and signed myself up for Q School 2010, and officially turned professional.

I want to take a moment here to describe two very strong emotions that came with this decision. The first is the very obvious excitement arising from a step in the direction of a childhood dream. The opportunity to do something like this is more than a lot of people could ever ask for and I feel blessed to have one. The second may be a little harder to understand. I cannot put into words how much I will miss amateur golf. It has meant so much to me and I truly do love the game, down to its very roots. If there are any golf historians reading along they are aware that there was a time, considered to be a much purer time for the game of golf, when it was very questionable to make the game your profession. In fact, it was almost dishonorable. I'm not saying that it is dishonorable today, but I do think there are too many "pros" out there and I put this decision off many times because I feared becoming another lackluster professional golfer.

I have no intentions of this. I have worked very hard on my game to this point in my life, and I still love it enough to work even harder and I will continue to do so until September 21st arrives and I tee it up on a quest for a PGA Tour Card. I will always continue to learn about my game and get better whether I am a professional or not. I am just too hungry for the confines of amateur golf. I have dreams of playing with and beating the best players in the world and you just can't do that as an amateur in today's game. Most of all I want to give back to the game, the people, and the communities that have given so much to me. That is the dream. That is the fuel that burns inside my heart every hour that I practice, every day.