PRO-gress: One Shoe at a Time...

A Shot of Redemption in Kingwood

2012-02-16T09:57:00.000-08:00

471 days after the heartbreak of a lifetime I returned to Kingwood, TX.

The last time I was in Kingwood was for the first stage of PGA Tour Q School. I was struggling with my game, but doing what pros do, putting it together. Including my final round 71, three of my four rounds were under par despite not having my best stuff. Unfortunately a third round 77 had put me in a position where I had to put up a number in order to advance to the next stage.

The top 22 players and ties advanced, and as it would turn out, I finished Tied for 23rd place, by a single shot. One swing, one chip, one judgement of the wind or slope, one subtle break of a green, one club-selection...It would be so easy to go back and find one wasted shot of the 289 that I hit over four days.

My return was on the opposite side of the bag, caddying for my friend Mark in an Adams Pro Tour Series Event. Out of boredom in the practice round I asked Mark if he would mind if I hit the occasional shot, and he obliged. I had found a Dunlop golf ball literally submerged in mud on the 12th hole, and decided that was good enough to hit a few times.

We arrived at the 15th hole, a par three measuring 162 yards. Mark hit a beautiful shot, drawing towards the front hole location, coming to rest about 5 feet away. I got up there and swiftly kicked the gobs of mud from the face of his 8-iron and dropped my Dunlop onto the brilliant green rye grass. It came to rest on a nice piece of turf so I just decided to play it as it was...I sent the ball flying high and to the right of the hole and as it started to draw back Mark said "Do me one better..." My ball landed and started rolling, and we assumed it was near Mark's, about 5 feet away.

Upon arrival to the green, we realized there was only one ball below the hole, Mark's Titleist. He immediately asked "Did you jar it?!" I replied "I don't know. Where else could it be?"

Mark ran up to the hole, peeking downward and saw my muddy Dunlop lying there in just one shot, and immediately burst out laughing. I was quick to join him. We both spent the next ten minutes discussing all of the ways that I was NOT properly prepared to hit a perfect golf shot. I was wearing layers that I wouldn't wear if I were playing. I was using Mark's golf club, which has a different lie angle, and is a different brand than mine are. I was using a Dunlop golf ball covered in mud. The club was covered in mud from Mark's previous shot. I just goes to show that sometimes things are going to happen whether you're prepared or not.

I had to find a new ball to hit occasionally, as the Dunlop will now be filed away with my other three hole-in-one balls. I proceeded to hit poor golf shots the rest of the day as well as laugh whenever it returned to my mind that I had made an ace in the fashion that I did...It may not have been worth as much as an advancement at Q School would have been, but it's one shot of redemption that will leave me with a fond golf memory of Kingwood, TX.

Open for Business in San Antonio

2011-11-21T09:34:00.000-08:00

I left Austin Friday Night with my friend Mark, headed for San Antonio to play in the 36-hole San Antonio Open Saturday and Sunday. Both of us had worked a long day, all day Friday and had high hopes for the weekend. Despite not finding a lot of time for practice leading up to the event, I found myself as confident as I had been since turning professional. I felt the layout suited my game, as it didn't really allow a lot of room for long drives, and forced approaches from the 150-175 yard range.

The first round started slowly, with 8 pars. I broke the string of pars the bad way with a bogey on #9. I failed to get it back until 13, with a birdie on the par 5. I made par on every hole on the way in for an even par 72 that included 16 pars. I had only hit 11 greens, and although I missed some good opportunities, I certainly got away with a few mistakes as well. I felt I was capable of a better score but with higher winds looming for the final round I didn't know what to expect.

The final round started similarly, even par through 4, then a birdie on 5 followed by a great par saver on 6. I finished the front 9 at one under par, then that's when I turned it on. Birdies on 10, 12, and 13 got me to 4 under par for the round and the tournament. Unfortunately, a couple of bad swings down the stretch led to a couple of bogies, and the birdie train had stopped. I had to settle for a 2 under par 70, and a total of 142 for the tournament.

As it turns out, that total was good for 6th place alone, and 3rd place among the pros. That came with my largest paycheck as a professional golfer, and now that I think about it, of my life. It's a good feeling for now, but an even better feeling knowing that there is still so much room for improvement. Now I face another off-season, but unlike last year, that ended in disappointment after missing moving on at Q School by a single shot, I ended this year on a bit of a high note. Now there's a few months where I can address some minor swing issues and make plans for 2012.

How I Play Golf

2011-11-01T14:46:00.000-07:00

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me that I should work on my attitude regarding golf I'd probably be a millionaire...Its a funny reference, because if there's anything in the world I love more than money, it's golf!

Three years ago this Saturday I arrived in Austin, TX with all of my earthly belongings packed tight in my car. Some of the things I left back in New Hampshire included my parents, the rest of my distant family, a job as an insurance professional, my health insurance, many friends, and most importantly, hundreds of people who believed in me. All of these sacrifices were made for a single love of mine, and believe me, I love my job, but it's not money...

I started a new job, my first at a golf course outside the pro shop, making minimum wage. A 30 minute drive each way on a toll road left me quickly overwhelmed and I found myself wondering whether or not I could sustain any sort of lifestyle. However, I never questioned the goal, just the circumstances leading to it. In order to adjust, I moved closer to my job, I traded my car for a far more economic one, and eliminated a few things in my life in order to free up some funds for neccessities. Do I have any regrets? Zero.

This morning, while sharing a round that could only be described as "casual" with a friend of mine, Steve, he reminded me that I am very hard on myself, even during a "fun round". Steve is a pupil of mine, and I desperately want him to improve his golf game because I can see that he loves it in a similar manner that I do. However, this comment fell on deaf ears, as I have heard it enough times that I don't allow it to hold water anymore...I tried explaining to Steve, that no matter what I may have called myself, or said outloud, that I arrive over the next shot thinking ONLY of that shot. The fact that I got upset in the first place is only evidence of my desire to succeed. I can't tell you whether Steve believed me, or whether he can fathom the concept, but I promise you it's true.

The bottom line is, telling me that I'm too hard on myself, or too negative, or hot headed, etc. is easy. It's the easiest thing you could ever say to somebody. Nobody would ever say "Craig, stop getting upset, you're just not that good..." so it's an easy out to suggest an attitude adjustment.

I admire the players out there that can maintain a calm, cool, collected demeanor on the golf course all the time, no matter what the situation. Hunter Mahan, Rickie Fowler, The Late Payne Stewart to name a few. However, those guys are not me, and they approach the mental portion of the game as differently as they do the physical. Imagine if Rickie Fowler listened to someone that told him "The other guys don't swing like that..." and that he needed to change. Rickie Fowler has a horrific swing. If anyone else tried to hit a proper golf shot from his poisition at the top it would result in a sure shank...But, as fate would have it this swing belongs to nobody else but Rickie. It's how HE does it. He owns it.

I fully understand that my words may be choice after a bogey, a three-putt, a botched up & down, or a poor tee shot. I may refer to myself by a name I would never consider calling my biggest adversary. However, that's just how I do it. I have to release that bad energy in my body created from adversity. It's as big a flaw as Rickie's laid off backswing, but it's how I do it...If I don't, then it will affect the next shot I hit.

So how do I play golf? With passion. I play this game hard. I play it true, and I love it to death. Even if it's not always good to me...

The Path Less Traveled

2011-08-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

In the middle of June I decided that I would take a personal leave of absence from work that would last most of the summer. I'm not much of a planner, but a trip of this magnitude had to include at least some plans...

The main reason for the trip was golf. I had planned on playing in the Greater Bangor Open in Maine in late July, followed by the New Hampshire Open the following week. After that I would have a couple of weeks until the Rhode Island Open which I would hit on the way out of town, and zip back to Texas in time to play in "Hotter than Hell", the summer version of Stephen F Austin's Survival Tournaments. After this I would finally return to Austin, return to work, and reassess my game, my life, and my aspirations going forward. Little did I know that this trip would involve so many non-golf events that would mean more to me than the golf did.

First, I stopped in Columbus, Ohio to see two of my best friends in the world for a few days. I experienced the "Thurminator", a 1.5 pound ground beef behemoth not once, but twice! I also got to experience the nightlife on the campus of The Ohio State University which was a lot of fun. The most important thing on this part of the trip however was meeting my friend Ben's now fiance, Kristen. Ben and I go way back, and needless to say, I care for him like a brother and I knew he was serious about Kristen, so it was important to him and myself that we got along...I'm sure he knows now that she has my full endorsement, he asked her to marry him about a month after my visit.

When I continued on to New Hampshire I had about three weeks until I headed to Maine for the GBO. I was fortunate to catch another college friend, Rob, in New York getting married to Nicole, they had dated since our days at Quinnipiac University. I also decided to get on the bag for a good friend in the New Hampshire Amateur. Jim Cilley is a good player, and we used to practice together when I lived in New Hampshire, so I knew his game well. However, he had never advanced beyond the round of 32 before. We both felt I could help him in this endeavor, with my green-reading ability and experience having won this very tournament 6 years ago...It was a magical week for Jim. He marched all the way to the Semifinals before he had a tight match. A miraculous shot from the woods on 16 gave him back a lead he would not relinquish, and only one man stood between him and the title, Nick MacDonald. Nick is without a doubt the best amateur golfer in the state of New Hampshire, and the defending New Hampshire Amateur Champion. The final was a battle the whole way, with lead changes and momentum shifts. Jim desperately clung to a 1-up advantage down the stretch, all the way to the final hole where he met a 6 foot par putt to win. After reading the putt, I gave Jim a spot as we had done all week. As he addressed the putt I told him sternly, "If you hit it there, you can't miss..." He rolled the ball inexorably, right at the spot I had shown him just outside of the hole. The 30 year old pumped his fist and yelled with youthful exuberance as the ball disappeared into the hole. He was met by a hug from me, then by his father who was crying uncontrollably. His father then hugged me saying through his tears, "Thank you so much, he could not have done this without you..." I had some wonderful moments during this trip, but this may have been the best of them all.

From there, I focused on my own golf game which left a lot to be desired after a week of minimal practice. I played very poorly in Bangor, and then in the New Hampshire Open as well. I was disappointed in myself and my lack of ability to play the game I love so much still. I struggled to execute even the simplest of shots and watched the players around me demonstrate why they are better time and time again. I hadn't felt this level of frustration on a golf course in a long time, and I'll be honest, I hated it. It frustrated me enough to decide against playing in the Rhode Island Open and save the $400 entry fee.

I spent the next few days on a lake with my father in Moultonborough, New Hampshire. Moultonborough may be the most beautiful place in the world during the summer, with the mountains framing the greenest of trees which ultimately give birth to the glassy waters of Lake Winnipesaukee, the perfect place to be left alone with your thoughts...

When we returned home, we decided that we'd extend our water activities and kayak a 15 mile leg of the Merrimack River the following day. This turned out to be 10 hours of kayaking, fishing, swimming, and joking that I'll never forget. The kind of day with dad that boys remember when they become fathers themselves...

From there I took a trip to Philadelphia to see another good friend Dominic marry his bride Nicole. Philadelphia was an absolute blast as well, it included some golf, poker, laughs, nightlife, and of course the wedding. I don't feel as though I left any fun behind me in Philly, I needed a full day to recover from that portion of the trip.

When I returned to New Hampshire I had just two days left before leaving for Rhode Island, where I decided I'd grab the straps for my friend Mark in the Rhode Island Open, since I wasn't competing myself. I spent those last two days laying low, and spending some precious time with my mom. When you live so far from family, you don't take an hour or two for granted anymore...

Mark was another winner of the New Hampshire Amateur (2008) and turned pro last summer and has had some success in state and city opens, he also was going to be on our team in Sealy for "Hotter than Hell" so it made sense for me to go along and then we could share the drive back to Texas. Mark played well, and I'd like to think I helped him as he fired rounds of 68, 67, 69 to claim the title by 2 shots. Regardless of how poorly I played, I feel like I could be in the running for caddy of the year, after all, I haven't lost yet...

Unfortunately for Mark it was the shortest victory celebration ever, as we had 1,900 miles in front of us, and only 42 hours to cover them by car...By this time of course I felt right at home in my car, but it didn't mean I wanted to be there. The drive went relatively smoothly, and I was glad when it was over, it felt great to be back in the greatest state in the Union!

"Hotter than Hell" offered more of the same for me. Golf that is just not quite what I used to be accustomed to. Mediocrity at best, and absolute failure to step up in a big spot and hit a big shot. We finished fourth, and made minimal money, profiting nothing for ourselves or our sponsor. The only good thing left was being able to mount up yet again and continue on to Austin.

After getting in at 11:00 Sunday night I slept in my own bed for the first time in 52 days. In that time I had driven 7,664 miles, been in 22 states, seen two weddings, an engagement, the birth of a friend's daughter, played 3 golf tournaments, caddied in two others (winning them both), laughed so hard my stomach and throat hurt, and I even cried twice...I took this trip figuring that I would have a much clearer picture of what I wanted to do with my life when I returned. I have zero regrets about this trip. Zero. However the picture is so blurry right now I can't even begin to decipher it all at this point. Perhaps it's time to walk away from golf, at least professionally. Perhaps I should look into caddying on a much more serious level. Who knows? I know that right now it feels great to be back in Austin, and I'm going to take a week or two and just reflect on my summer. I don't have to decide anything right now. I'm just so proud of myself for taking the risks I have to get to this point. No matter what happens from here, I will have no regrets. That is priceless.

Fear of Commitment

2011-07-24T09:48:00.001-07:00

Most guys my age that are still single, like myself, are accused of being afraid of commitment. I don't always deal well with criticism, even when it's constructive...I usually fire back with something along the lines of "I'm just waiting for the right girl..." or "Why would I rush into anything if she may not be the one?" I know what you're thinking, "Isn't this blog about golf?" Yes it is.

To continue with the metaphor, a man, or a woman for that matter would never get to the alter and stand in front of his or her family, their spouse's family and friends, and most importantly in front of the Lord himself and make a commitment to someone they weren't sure they wanted to spend eternity with. After all, that is what the idea of marriage is all about, or at least what it used to be about.

Looking back on the Greater Bangor Open, now two days removed from missing the cut, I have realized that my most fundamental flaw was being committed to nothing. I wasn't committed to most of my shots, I wasn't committed to any sort of game plan for the tricky, short, and gimmicky layout of Bangor Municipal Golf Course, and most of all I wasn't committed to having fun during the tournament. I never committed to enjoying the process. I was merely concerned with the results. To go back to my metaphor of loving someone, wouldn't it be wrong to marry someone only because you wanted their money, or their children, or their house, etc.? Of course it would be...

Once I knew the cut was well out of reach for me, I decided with my very good friend Eric Goldthwaite, who was on the bag for the GBO, that I would play the final three holes using only my 7-iron. A little ode to my favorite golf movie, Tin Cup. In the movie, Kevin Costner's Character Roy McAvoy has a complete mental breakdown with his caddy during a US Open qualifier and breaks every club in his bag on the tenth tee, except his 7-iron. He plays the final nine holes in even par (successfully qualifying) using only that club which he claims to be "the only truly safe club in his bag..."

I played the final three holes par, bogey, par. This wasn't bad, especially since the last hole was a par 4 that plays as a par 5 for the members. However, after teeing off on the 16th hole, I enjoyed a walk with Eric, both of us smiling and laughing, and that's when it hit me: this was the first time I had committed to anything the entire week. We even left the bag behind, and would loop back for it after the round was completed, now that's faith in the process! For the first time all week I had fun on the golf course, and perhaps for the first time as a professional. I regret to admit that I have been making this mistake since turning pro last fall. I forgot to have fun when I played golf, as I always did when I was an amateur, and most importantly, I forgot to commit to it.

This is not to say I didn't have fun during the week. I shared a hotel room in Maine with three good friends to save some extra money and we had a blast together. The only part of the trip that wasn't great was the golf, unfortunately.

So, with the New Hampshire Open just two days away what am I to do in order to improve? Well, I need to commit. I will not play the entire tournament with a 7-iron though...On the trip back Eric and I talked over the challenges that Atkinson Country Club presents, and how to attack them properly. We devised a game plan that is tailored to my strengths as a golfer. We have decided to commit to the tournament, commit to every shot played, commit to the game plan, commit to enjoying the process, and most importantly to commit to the love and respect I have for the game of golf...

I may not be guaranteed to win. I may not be guaranteed to make a check. I may not even be guaranteed to make the cut. Commitment is a beautiful thing however, and if I can commit myself to these things which I have reflected upon then I am guaranteed one thing, and that is to not have any regrets...

Homecoming

2011-07-01T08:31:00.000-07:00

If you read my last post, you know that I was planning on returning to my original home of New Hampshire for the better part of the summer to play in a few golf tournaments, see some family and friends, and just relax in the peaceful serenity that a summer in New England so easily provides...

I made a stop in Columbus, OH to see two of my greatest friends in the world for a couple of days. Ben Fithian, my roommate from Quinnipiac, and Kyle Coffman. Kyle recently transplanted to Columbus from Austin. It was tough to see him go, but it was great to see both of them doing well there and loving life.

I arrived here in New Hampshire Tuesday evening around 7:15 PM after 31 hours on the road and was immediately greeted by my mother. I hadn't seen her since Christmas and the reunion was nice. You know how mom's are, within an hour I had eaten about four pounds of food and been hugged more than twice with that unmistakable look in her eyes that says "I'm so happy you're home..."

Wednesday I ventured up to Canterbury Woods Country Club for my first golf since I had left Texas. I had worked at Canterbury Woods while I was in college and some after as well. It's one of those places that holds an unexplainable place in my heart, and it will remain there forever with it's rolling hills, rough terrain, and breathtaking vistas of the New England Mountains. I've had some pretty special moments there, including a few Club Championships, A New Hampshire Amateur Championship, and three consecutive Concord City Championships. The members at Canterbury Woods always kept up with my progress, and were always there to offer their congratulations on my victories, and condolences in my defeats. I had always felt like part of the family there. I was a little unsure who I would see or what the reception would be because it had been 3 years since I've stepped foot on the grounds.

Before I could even make it to the clubhouse I was greeted by a friendly face. It was Erich McLellan. I had known Erich during the "Glory Days" and he greeted me with a smile and a handshake. I told him it still gave me chills to make the drive up the long winding driveway of the club, there are just so many memories. One by one the familiar faces came into view and we greeted each other with smiles and "Great to see you!" The golf ensued from there and I was a little apprehensive as I hadn't so much as picked up a golf club for 6 days. Even the golf course greeted me warmly, I played 9 holes in 4 under par 32, without making a bogey.

Thursday was an early morning. I met my father at his place at 4 'o clock in the morning to get a head start to Vermont. He was headed there to do some fishing with his father, who didn't know I was attending as well, and didn't even know I was in the area. It was great to see my grandfather, and after reuniting a bit, three generations of Cyr men headed out to catch some fish. We fished for about 4 hours and caught 80 fish. We returned home to clean them, which I was no help with. If you've ever seen my father with a knife in his hands cleaning a fish you'd be amazed. If you've seen my grandfather, you'll know you have witnessed something truly immortal. I just stayed out of the way, because that's truly the only place I would have been...

From there we proceeded to see my grandmother and other family for dinner which was incredible. Perhaps my grandmother felt the need to cement her legacy in my mind as the greatest cook I have ever seen. After the trip home, exhausted, it was time to get some much needed sleep because the rest of this journey starts today. My time here so far has been amazing and I'm sure it's going to continue to be that way. There are still many things I look forward to doing here. The Greater Bangor Open is still three weeks away, but I'm sure the time will pass by quickly. This will be great practice for staying in the moment, not just in golf, but in life...

A Little Peace Goes a Long Way

2011-06-14T16:34:00.000-07:00

Anyone who truly knows me knows how much I love Austin, TX. I always tell people, "There's literally something for everyone here" The people are friendly, there is always live music (among many other things to do), the golf is good, the weather is hard to beat, and even after almost three years of living here I still find the place visually stunning...

Although I'm a huge believer in loving where you are or leaving, I will soon be doing both. Not forever, but for a couple of months. After a disappointing start to the golf season I found myself contemplating my future in the game yet again. This has happened a few times before, and I never seem to be able to find any peace with a decision on either side of the spectrum. So I came up with a plan that excites me to even write about.

On June 23rd I will work a typical opening shift at UT Golf Club, except this will be my last shift there, at least until mid-August. I will pack up my car and head back to my roots in New Hampshire. After all, there's nothing like 30 hours and 2,000 miles each way in the car to do some soul searching right? Well, I do plan to break up the trip a little bit. I plan to stop off in Columbus Ohio to see a few friends, and perhaps Connecticut as well. Once I get to New Hampshire I will begin preparation for the New Hampshire Open in later July. I grew up in New Hampshire and watched many of the state's best in complete awe as a kid. Guys like Phil Pleat, Craig Steckowych, and Bob Mielcarz. I was fortunate enough to gather some talent of my own over the years and compete against these guys. Every single time was a learning experience for me. I am well-versed in New Hampshire Golf History and it would mean a great deal to me to claim the only major championship put on by the NHGA that has eluded me.

More importantly though, regardless of my finish it will allow me to pay homage to the golf association that provided me a place to compete and learn the game from the time I was about 13 right up until I left for Texas. My final memory of the NHGA was an acceptance speech I gave at Manchester Country Club in 2008, three days before leaving the state and moving to Austin. I was fortunate that year to be crowned Player of the Year. This was an incredible honor for me as a young man. To be in front of a room filled with guys I had idolized as a child and be applauded for not just one day, or one week of solid play, but an entire season. Not only that, but the venue was a sentimental favorite as well, I had won the 102nd New Hampshire Amateur at Manchester Country Club three years prior. This was the single moment in my life that I began to believe in myself and my abilities, not just as a golfer...

After the New Hampshire Open I'll head to Maine to play in the Greater Bangor Open and compete for the largest purse I have ever played for, $10,000 to the winner! That sure could help in an effort to return to Q School in the fall. In the beginning of August I will head south to Philadelphia to watch one of my best friends from college, Dominic, get married. After wishing Dom good luck as a new husband It's back north to Rhode Island for the Rhode Island Open and another sweet monetary prize will be on the line. After all of this, I plan to head back to Austin, with a stop off in Sealy the second week in August for the Annual "Hotter 'N Hell" tournament to cap off my little road trip. I'm sure it'll be great to get back to Texas, and this tournament in particular provides an unbelievably good time year in and year out.

Upon return to Austin I plan to process everything I've been through and reassess where I am and where I want to be. As disappointing as it is to leave a place I love so dearly for two months, it sure will be nice to relax in the comforts of where I grew up. At least during this time, in this place, I'll be fully at peace with myself and I'll truly be able to assess my skills as a golfer.

Another Notch in my Belt...

2011-05-13T21:22:00.001-07:00

I own a belt buckle that I purcahsed on Ebay a while back. It's black and white (go figure) with some fancy looking designs and it has the number "63" printed right in the middle. A lot of people comment on my belt buckles as they are pretty eccentric to say the least, and because they always have a meaning...So when I wear the 63 buckle, people ask "What's the 63 stand for?" I simply respond "Best round ever..." referring to my 8 under par 63 at The University of Texas Golf Club last fall. I made 9 birdies that day against only a single bogey, my best round at UT by 3 shots. The one thing I remember about this round was an uncanny ability to get the ball in the hole on the greens. It seemed like anything inside of 15 feet was automatic.

Thursday afternoon I embarked on a playing lesson at Avery Ranch with a guy named Steve. Steve is golfer like most. He has some natural ability, with some classic flaws that are fixable when he focuses and doesn't let his mind wander from the task. If he practiced more (on the golf course) I believe he could eliminate these flaws more often and reach his goal of breaking 80 quite easily. Especially since he is a pretty darn good putter...

As we approached the first tee at Avery, Steve just went up one set of tees to the blue tee, which sort of disappointed me for two reasons. One, Steve is good enough to play the golds there, and two, I always welcome the challenge of playing the entire golf course. But oh well, he's the one paying for the lesson, so he makes the call. I make a solid par on #1, Steve stumbles a little out of the gate, but we're off and running. On #2, I started what I couldn't have even begun to imagine at the time. A putting clinic that even I would have had to see to believe. A 30 footer for birdie on two, followed by a 60 foot eagle lag for an easy birdie on three, two more birdies on 5 & 6 from 15 and 12 feet respectively. Another bomb on 8 for a birdie, and it was all capped off with a solid 12 footer poured right in the center on 9 for another birdie. Just like that a front nine 30! Steve commented jokingly about how clear it was why I was the teacher and he was the student. Then he notified me that he had enough for the day and was calling it quits. Again, I was a little disappointed, because I wanted to see how low I could go. After all, the front nine is usually the harder side at Avery Ranch...

I said my goodbyes and jetted to the 10th tee by myself to continue. Another two putt for birdie on the relatively easy par 5 tenth...Now 7 under through 10, almost uncharted territory and I'm suddenly very aware of the blood in my veins and the oxygen in my lungs, or lackthereof...I join three new guys on 11, make a good swing but catch a poor hop and have about 40 feet for birdie. Again! A bomb drops and now I'm 8 under par! I promptly follow this with a solid 7 footer for birdie on 12 to go 9 in the red, a number I have never reached before on any golf course. Now the blood is pumping faster for sure, and I'm no longer breathing involuntarily.

At this point, my three guys also decide to throw in the towel, which may have been a blessing. Alone again, I start to talk to myself, outloud I remind myself that although I've never been this far under par before, I have been close, a lot of times. So it's really nothing new. I needed to dig deep, cherish these exciting moments, and make the most of them. Focus even harder on every single shot if possible. After all, this is why we play the game of golf, to see how low we can go. People talk about what a big difference there is between 100 and 99, or 80 and 79 because it's a milestone to break 80 or break 100, etc. Well let me tell you, on this day I was 9 under with some golf course still in front of me and I think I may have considered sacrificing one of my limbs to reach double digits, at the very least, a finger...

Two pars on the next two left me with mixed emotions. I hadn't given any shots back to the golf course, but a glimmer of hope for a 59 was basically gone. I would need to birdie the last 4 holes. I started that train with a great up & down on 15 for birdie. I kept it going with a better one on the short par 4 sixteenth. I was now 11 under par. Speechless, Breathless, Salivaless, and I can't remember the last time I was this excited. I even still had a chance for 59 if I birdied the last two holes.

Unfortunately I stumbled on the penultimate hole, pushing my approach slightly, leaving a deceptively slow, downhill putt, which I left short. I struck my remaining 6 footer for par very well, but it slid painfully by the hole on the left edge and I was back to 10 under. It sounds even funnier to me now than it did at the time, saying it aloud to myself..."BACK to ten under par"

I missed the fairway on the final hole, and promptly missed the green from the fairway bunker on the right. It's easy to feel like you deserve to hit a bad shot sometimes when you've hit so many good ones throughout the day. It's a hard concept to explain, but anyone who's ever played golf knows the feeling of "owing a few" to the course. Well I may or may not have owed a few, but I wasn't giving any of them back this day. A rock solid chip came to rest just 6 inches from the hole for a cinch par, and my new best round ever, a 10 under par 62. I guess I need a new belt...

There's a First Time for Everything

2011-04-17T19:42:00.000-07:00

Outside of Q-School last fall, I hadn't played an official event as a professional. This weekend served that opportunity for the very first time as Grey Rock Golf Club hosted The Austin Open. I got off to a good start chipping in for birdie on the opening hole. I was still dealing with some nerves in the opening stretch, but managed to recover well from my misses until a few bad breaks finally caught up with me and I finished round one with a disappointing 5 over par 75, which included a quadruple bogey 8 on the final hole. This was only half of the theatrics that Kevin Na showed us at TPC San Antonio on Thursday at the Valero Texas Open carding a 16 on the 9th hole, but needless to say I was very disappointed in myself.

I was a little out of sorts while preparing for the second and final Round. I was tied for 33rd place, 8 shots behind the leader, and worst of all, it was very windy. I have been known to play well in just about any condition (Cold, Wet, Rainy, Hot, Dry, Fast, etc.) but for some reason I just don't seem to perform well in the wind. So I spent a considerable amount of time on the range just hitting awkward shots that would stay low and not really aiming them at anything specific. I was just trying to feel myself hitting the ball solid, since this is more important than anything when playing in heavy winds.

By the end of the day, I had bettered my score by three shots shooting a two over par 72, which in comparison to the conditions was about six better as the course played to a stroke average three shots higher than day one. Only 19 of the 87 players in the field improved on their first round score in the final round.

I still felt as though I wouldn't crack the top ten and earn my first official paycheck as a golfer, however I was pleased at the grit I had shown on a windy golf course that isn't kind to someone missing their spots. As it would turn out, my 147 Total was good enough to tie for 7th place as many of the upper half of the field struggled to put it together in the afternoon. So, with my first official event as a professional comes my first official check from a golf tournament. In a very small way this is a childhood dream realized, and I am very proud, although it's just a stepping stone to where I want to be. You have to start somewhere, and there's a first time for everything...

The Austin Open will not be a Grind

2011-04-14T06:05:00.000-07:00

The 2011 Austin Open will be held this weekend at Grey Rock Golf Club in Austin and I have been preparing for this event for a couple of months now. I started with my balky driver in February, trying to eliminate the weak fade. From there I focused on more solid iron play as well as an overall short game tune up. There have been many different methods and I've taken them all out on the golf course to see how they work in real situations.

If you watch golf on the PGA Tour, especially nowadays with players such as Bubba Watson and Tommy "Two Gloves" Gainey, you'll see that there are many different ways to play this game. Although, what most people will tell you is that the best players in the world are the best because they can "grind".

Grinding is a term used very loosely in the golf world to describe someone who is struggling with their golf swing, or faced with a relatively difficult circumstance and they seem to dig deep, focus completely on the task at hand, and get it done. I've heard this term used most commonly after a player makes a good putt, usually to save a par. An observer might say, "Wow, he was really grinding on that one. He really wanted to make it..."

Another use for the term would be when you hear a Touring Pro say, "It's a real grind out here. There's so much talent, you really have to be on top of your game if you want to stick around." or someone might even say, "The US Open is really important to Phil Mickelson, he grinds for months in preparation for it..."

Regardless of how it's said I only hear the term grind one way, and I don't like it when it's used regarding golf. If golf is a grind for you, then you need to stop playing. Golf is supposed to be relaxing and I maintain that it is the single greatest game in the world. What an insult to call it a grind! A guy who sells office supplies to support his family of five and has to meet a quota every month in order to feed his children is grinding...With one week left to make his numbers he may have to stay in the office until 9:00 PM and get back early the next morning to make cold calls, get hung up on, etc. just in order to make his quota. Golf is definitely nothing like this for me, and I sincerely hope it's not like this for anybody, regardless of their level of talent.

First of all, God Bless the man who works hard and doesn't stop in order to provide for his family. Even if he is grinding, it's incredibly noble. However, my chosen career is professional golf, and right now I don't have a family that requires my support. So is what I do a grind? Most days, I wake up at 5:40 in the morning, get ready and rush out the door to work at The University of Texas Golf Club by 6:30. I work outside for what is essentially minimum wage, wind, rain, or shine until 1:30. Then I head to my car, change into nicer clothes and head to the practice area. I will spend an hour or so there working on a concept, whatever it may be. Then I head to the course to see if I can hit the same shots on the golf course with real greens, real bunkers, uneven lies, trees, and different wind directions. After leaving the course, I practice my chipping and putting with some of the best junior golfers I have ever seen, who are out there EVERY night working on their short games until it's dark. I drive home in the dark, just as I drove to work in the morning, eat dinner very late, and go straight to bed and do it all again the next day.

Some might describe this as a grind. "He's grinding away, running himself ragged in order to do what he loves..." To be short, those people are wrong. I love the game of golf, and I love every moment that I spend learning about my game, getting better, and helping others get better as well. Even on the days it really doesn't go my way, I'm still burning with desire to learn from that experience and do it better the next time. It may look as though I'm not having fun, but my brain is literally just too busy to smile. If I didn't love it so much, perhaps I wouldn't be as good, or I'd be selling office supplies. The point is I don't like the term "grind" when referring to golf. Grinding is something people would rather not do in order to make ends meet, and there's really no other way. This is the path I've chosen for myself, and I wouldn't have it any other way...

"Cowboy Up": Lessons Taken from a Man Who Never Quit

2011-01-31T09:46:00.000-08:00

I've been fortunate enough to forge a friendship with a new resident of Austin over the past few months. The man is Kevin Millar. There may be a few people who don't know his story around these parts, because he's mostly known for his heroic leadership of the World Champion Boston Red Sox. Growing up in New Hampshire until moving to Austin Texas in 2008, I was of course a huge fan of the Boston Red Sox. I knew who Kevin Millar was the first day I saw him at The University of Texas Golf Club in Austin. I was excited to meet him, and even more excited to hear the stories straight from the source. Kevin is a great guy, his personal story, his attitude toward sports, and toward life make him a great role model for anyone.

My last blog mentioned a tournament in the small town of Sealy, that always provides a lot of fun. After Saturday's first round, the entire team played poorly and we found ourselves an insurmountable 8 shots back from first place, and three shots into last place with only one round to go, and I had personally lost all belief in my golf swing after numerous mistakes one after another. So, if you can't win, then what's left to play for? What would Kevin tell you? Probably something to the effect of, "Who cares?! You can't just lay down and die! Fight!" So that's exactly what we did. We headed to the driving range to try to find something we could all believe in, while others in the tournament drank heavily, gambled on the putting green, and enjoyed the fruits of their early success in other ways. Hours later, we all felt we had found something in our respective golf games that we could believe in. We entered the final day, knowing that we had literally no chance of catching first place, or even second place (the last place payed out), but we knew we had to make a statement that we were not the worst team out there.

After a fairly solid start, we faced a tough finishing stretch of 5 holes, with two long par threes, and a par 5 with a tucked pin. We birdied the first long par three, but followed it with a par. Now with just three holes remaining, we were 11 under par, on a golf course where 16 under in this format is considered an OK score...We birdied the first, then Greg made a long bending putt on the par three second to keep our momentum alive. Now, just the par five third hole remained. My friend Mark Stevens, who joined our team from Florida unleashed a perfect tee ball, leaving us a mere 165 yards from the hole. From there, I placed a nine iron about 20 feet from the tucked back left hole location. After Greg just missed the putt, I set my sights on my line, and rolled it what I thought was perfectly, only to watch the ball peek in the top side of the hole before painfully sliding by. Leaving us just one more attempt, by Mark. After adjusting only slightly from the line I chose, Mark stroked the ball beautifully, it never left it's line, and never wavered until it hit the back of the hole with perfect speed, disappearing for an eagle three. We had finished with a 15 under par 56, 6 shots better than our day one total, which was played in easier conditions.

After everyone finished, we learned that we had tied another team at 56 for the lowest score of the day in the tournament. This was worth $1,050 in "day money". Even sweeter than that, to me, was that we beat another team in our flight by 4 on the day, passing them for the tournament by a single shot, and not finishing in last place. We "cowboyed up" as Kevin would say, and after some quick math we learned that shooting a 57 would have been worth a mere $250 in "day money" and so that final hole eagle was worth $800! An opportunity that wouldn't have even been there without the grit and determination we had shown all day long, or without the dedication to improvement the day before. Another weekend in Sealy is in the books, and although I didn't return with profits this time, there was yet another valuable lesson learned in not giving up...

Survival of the Fittest

2011-01-24T14:58:00.000-08:00

At the end of this week, myself and two friends will take part in one of the most entertaining weekends of the year. The main event, and the reason we'll be making the trip is the annual Survival Scramble, held at Stephen F. Austin Golf Club in San Felipe, Texas. This two day event never ceases to amaze me, and by the end of the weekend I always seem to walk away with more entertainment from the non-golf activities. A saying comes to mind, and I don't know exactly what it is so I won't try to quote it exactly. Its something like: "It's not where you are, but the company you're with..." This saying couldn't be more fitting when talking about this tournament, and this weekend.

Imagine an average golf tournament, not the most prestigious one you've seen, just an average event. Now, clear that image from your mind completely because there's NOTHING normal, or average about this event. There is some money to be made if you can play well despite the traditionally challenging elements that late January provides in East Texas (hence the name of the event). In past events I have literally seen it all. Holes in one, eagles, triumph, defeat, anguish and despair. All of these things you could see at a normal tournament. But at the Survival Scramble you see them from the least likely of sources. From overweight shirtless men, from their girlfriends who are so intoxicated that they prefer not to step out of the golf cart, and even from the stray dogs that roam the property and share in the excitement from time to time.

Upon my last trip to Sealy (the neighboring town to San Felipe, and shares border with the course) I tried to describe to the team, in the nicest way possible, how I liked the course. My exact words were, "It's the nicest little dump I've ever played..." I know it sounds bad, but I would bet a fair amount of money that even the boys in Sealy wouldn't be offended by that comment...Because the folks in East Texas are some of the nicest, and most sincere of anyone that I've ever known. From the first time I visited I was taken in like family. These people aren't trying to kid anybody. The golf course is short, the trees are tall, and the greens are tiny. No real challenge for the new equipment that has revolutionized the game over the last 15 years...It's no secret that this golf course was left behind in the 80's and it's also no secret that the locals wouldn't have it any other way. However, it provides a formidable challenge in an event like this, where often times, you are standing over the ball with nothing to lose and you might as well try to hit that 75 yard hook over those 100 year old oak trees so you can get home in two...

But again, like I said the entertainment mostly comes off the golf course when you're in Sealy. When directions to THE restaurant in town include "go across the tracks" and "past the tractor dealership" and "if you get to Annie Jo's ya gone too far..." you just know you're in Sealy. There's really nothing like it, and I know I sound condescending, but it's a place I hold near and dear to my heart, and I can't wait to return there once again this weekend. With any luck, maybe I'll return home with some much needed cash to help fund another trip to Q School at the end of the year, but I'll certainly come back home to Austin with more fond memories of an East Texas town, Southern Hospitality, and a smile on my face...

The Best Day of My Life

2010-11-28T15:13:00.000-08:00

Nothing new here. I just felt inspired to write, and about this topic in particular...

It was July 16th, 2005. I woke up for the first time at 4:03 am. This wasn't atypical, waking up in the middle of the night. Except this time I wouldn't just roll over and go back to sleep until the sound of my alarm clock woke me. This day was to be the best day of my life, but I didn't know it yet. It took forever to get to sleep that night. Knowing that when I woke up, I would take a shower and get ready like any other day, it was anything but that. I would tee off at 8:00 sharp in the 36-Hole Championship Match of the New Hampshire Amateur.

When I went to bed I lied there and went through all the shots I would need at Manchester Country Club the following day. This is an exercise I usually go through, partly because it helps me prepare mentally to execute the shots when it actually comes time, but also because after I've imagined playing just a few holes, I drift off to sleep. I actually fell asleep fairly quickly, probably due to the fact that I had already played 116 holes of competitive golf in the humid heat of the New Hampshire Summer that week.

It's amazing how you can forget things when you first wake up. Sometimes you're even out of the shower before you remember that you were fired the day before, or that you lost a member of your family. It's hard to picture your life being so different, but at least you have those few moments of blissful ignorance until you wake up all the way. This morning, I remembered as soon as I cracked my eyelids. In some ways I don't think I ever actually fell asleep all the way. My mind returned to the golf course and the shots I would need in order to maneuver it successfully as I had all week in hopes of catching another couple hours of sleep. I wouldn't be so lucky. After about 30 minutes I realized that it was hopeless and just got out of bed. I turned on my TV and watched a tape I recorded of Tiger Woods winning the 2000 PGA Championship in an epic duel with Bob May at Valhalla. Tiger won in a playoff after the two traded blows all day long. Neither man would blink and by the time the back nine came along it was a two horse race, almost a match play situaton. I remember how calm Tiger seemed, and how he responded to every great shot Bob May hit (and there were several) with a great shot of his own. He never got too high, and he never got too low. I'd seen highlights of this tournament about 25 times, and I'm sure I'll watch it 100 more times before I'm done.

By the time my mother woke up she was surprised to see me awake already. Of course she asked the normal questions: "How'd you sleep?" "Want some breakfast?" "Are you ready?" I answered: "Not very long or well." "That'd be great." and "God, I hope so..." Bless my mom's heart, she would've killed the cow herself in order to make me steak & eggs that morning if that's what I wanted, but I was so nervous my stomach was in knots. I just wanted a couple pieces of toast, the way my mother makes it. Mothers always have that unbelievable ability to put the perfect amount of butter on toast, I'm sure I'll never get it right the way she does. Even though it was perfect, as it always is, I couldn't eat but three bites of it. I knew I would wish I had food in my stomach when the middle of the day rolled around, but I just couldn't get it down. It was time to leave.

I arrived at the course as I had all week, about 45 minutes early. Just enough time to roll a few putts, go through a quick warmup on the range, then putt a few more before heading to the tee. By the time I got there the scene was surreal. The first tee at Manchester Country Club is about 30 feet from their patio, and there was about 150 people watching as myself and my opponent, Mike Peters, were announced as the two remaining players in a field that started with 360. I had never been this nervous in my life. I told my father, who was on the bag for me, and he simply responded, "I know you're nervous, I am too. When was the last time you were this excited about anything in your life?" This is when I realized that they were good nerves, not bad ones. I was excited to win, not afraid to lose.

The morning 18 went very well. I seized opportunities when I had them, and scrambled to halve holes when I found trouble. I stood on the 17th tee 4 up. This is where I made my first big mistake of the day, making a sloppy bogey and losing my first hole of the match. This is when I remembered Tiger and his even keel that final round in 2000. Don't get me wrong, inside I was pissed, but I had to go on. There was only one hole left until our lunch break and I didn't want poor momentum lingering around as I tried to choke down a sandwich. On the final hole of the morning I hit a good drive, setting up a good angle to a very difficult hole location. From there I placed my ball with surgeon-like precision 6 feet below the hole. I made the putt to win the hole with a birdie, regain my 4 up lead, and most importantly, win back my momentum during lunchtime.

It was hot this day, like it was all week. About 95 degrees, sunny, and humid. At 90% humidity, 95 degrees feels like 110, and you will sweat through any garment you choose to put on, it's extremely taxing. I remember choosing to eat lunch outside so that my body wouldn't get into dry, cool air and start to relax. I ordered half of a tuna sandwich, knowing that I wouldn't be able to keep a whole one down. I ate half of the half sandwich and surrendered. "Just put me in coach, I want the ball..."

I further seized control at the beginning of the afternoon round. In my mind it was because I didn't relax during lunch as Mike had. After ten holes I was 6 up with only 8 holes to play, and in match play if you are ahead by more holes than there are remaining, you just end the match right away. I was within an hour of becoming the New Hampshire Amateur Champion! Not so fast, my opponent won the next two holes and quickly reduced my advantage to 4. On the par three 13th, Mike had hit it to about 12 feet, and I was a monsterous 40 feet away. It looked as though I could lose my third hole in a row and be well on my way to losing a huge lead I spent all day building...I stuck to my routine, took my practice strokes and set the ball along its way, about 6 feet left of the hole to accomodate for the break in the severely sloped Donald Ross green. As the ball approached the hole with good pace I realized that I was assured a two-putt and wouldn't lose the hole unless Mike converted his birdie. As the ball was within two feet I realized it was perfectly on line and there was no way it could miss. I raised both my hands in the air triumphantly as the ball disappeared for a birdie two, and the crowd went nuts as well. After trying to settle back in, Mike just missed his putt and I stole one back and was 5 up with 5 to play. All I had to do was tie one more hole to win the match, and the Championship. He would fend me off on the first of these five holes with a billiant shot from the fairway. But on the 15th hole after a solid teeshot and a wedge to the center of the green, I was left with about 20 feet for birdie and two putts would secure the win. Again I stuck to my routine, and rolled the putt to within a foot and a half. As Mike approached me and removed his cap I realized he was conceding the match to me and I was the New Hampshire Amateur Champion...I was overcome with emotion. I met Mike halfway and shook his hand. I congratulated him on a match well played and he congratulated me on my most recent success, telling me that I "deserved it the way I played..."

Time stood still for the next thirty minutes as friends and family that had come out to watch hugged me and congratulated me. I am a pretty emotional guy, but somehow I didn't cry during this increible celebration. I guess it was because it was exactly how I had pictured it.

There was a small ceremony back at the cubhouse and I gave a short speech thanking the New Hampshire Golf Assoiation and Manchester Country Club for putting on the event. I answered a few questions from local reporters, all the while with my new, bright silver trophy clutched in my arms.

The day wasn't over yet. The best part was yet to come. I went home and changed quickly then it was off to where I had learned to play the game. Duston Country Club in Hopkinton, about 40 minutes away. There was a crowd of golfers anxiously following my match online all day as no golfer from this small 9-hole club had ever come close to winning anything this prestigious before...As I approaced the entrance with the trophy the door flung open and I literally ran into the restaurant holding the trophy above my head, and there was a cheer as loud as I can ever remember for a solid minute. There were no words, all of the appreciation was shown in sheer volume. I haven't smiled so wide in my life before or since.

From there I spent the evening with dear friends and family, telling the stories of the week over and over again. I couldn't scrub that smile off of my face with steel wool...The thing I will always remember about that party, and that club in general was how everyone spoke to my parents. They were always so complimentary of both myself and my brother Keith. Always telling them that they had raised two fine young men and that they couldn't be happier for me and my acheivements. I'm sure that they were both proud, but it meant so much to me to be able to show them how good of a job they did with me on such a public stage. It was very special to pay them back even a little for everything they did for me growing up. It was the best day of my life.

A Jagged Little Pill

2010-10-29T16:10:00.000-07:00

The final round at Kingwood will probably stick with me for the rest of my life. Right now I sit, still processing every shot I hit throughout the entire week. No matter how I add it up, the end result was a score of 289, 1 over par, and 1 shot from moving on to Stage Two...

Even if one of the 8 players who finished at even par scored one shot worse I would have gotten in by a tie for the last position. This is, and will remain incredibly hard to swallow. Its hard to sit here and thnk positive going forward, knowing that I came so gut-wrenchingly close. But I can share one thing that I am incredibly proud of from today. I left everything on that golf course.

From the beginning of the round, thanks to some advice from close friends and family I was deep into a game plan and that was "commit to every shot 100%, no matter what..." I knew if I didn't I could spend the rest of my life wondering, "what if..."

In a week when I struggled to find the swing I know I possess, I dug deep enough to hit 17 of the 18 greens around the final loop of Kingwood. I hit many fairways, hit great recovery shots when I missed them, and even hit the last two par 5's in two shots with time running out despite the eminent danger surrounding both of them. I made my final bogey of the tournament on my 11th hole of the day, putting me at +3 overall and needing something special to move on. For the final 7 holes I played absolutely fearless golf and it felt incredible.

I was pobably as nervous as I have ever been on a golf course during the closing stretch but it all turned into positive energy to concentrate, dig deeper, and pull off the shot I desperately needed. For anyone who has ever competed at anything, you know that there is no better feeling than to perform well when your body is literally saturated with adrenaline.

The only thing that let me down today was the one element that seemed to be there all week, my putter. I missed many birdie attempts, the two eagle putts, and one crucial par saver on #11. 34 putts was one too many for this day, and a one under par 71 was as well. It sure is a bitter taste now, but at least I had a shot, and more importantly, I took it.

Pack it Up...

2010-10-28T14:20:00.000-07:00

Moving day at Kingwood proved to be a stearn test. A test I failed miserably...Finally all of the bad swings and poor shots I've been making with regularity this week caught up with me. My complete inability to drive the ball in the fairway cost me dearly and never more than the 17th hole which led to a triple bogey 8.

A five over par 77 was the end result of an 18 hole battle that lasted over 6 hours yet again. I've now shot myself out of position going into the final round and will need to make up some ground if I want to continue on this march through Q-School.

As of right now I am tied for 31st place at two over par, and with only 22 positions available to move on that means I'll be forced to throw up a low number tomorrow or pack my bags. Sometimes this can actually make it easy on a player because there are fewer decisions to make, you know what has to be done. However, this week for me has been all about hanging on and I've been in little control of my golf ball. This will make forcing it tomorrow extremely difficult. As far as I see it there's only one thing I can do, try me best.

Pass the Dramamine

2010-10-27T18:11:00.000-07:00

(Photo by Robert Salas)

Day two in Kingwood proved to be little different than day one. A 9:15 departure from the 10th tee immediately sent me right, just like the day before. After a terrible second shot, I was left with about 50 yards from a bunker for my third into the short par 5. A brilliant touch from the soft sand left me a difficult 7 footer for birdie which I promptly poured into the center of the hole. I started to think that maybe this good start would allow me to settle in and play the rock solid round of golf I know I am capable of. Unfortunately, that story has to wait at least one more day, because today the roller coaster continued and I was pleased to get off before throwing up...

My great start continued as I was 2 under par through 5 holes before inexplicably flying a 6 iron clear over the green from 190 yards into the wind which settled in a flower bed and led to a double bogey which cost me all of my insurance runs. From there I struggled for par a few times and completed my first nine at even par.

My second nine started like my first, with a birdie. Unfortunately it only lasted one hole as I drove it left for the first time the whole tournament on the second hole. However, I rebounded instantly and made birdie on the par 5 third. All was well until the difficult par 3 sixth, which shows more water than grass. Another poor swing found the water and after a drop I wedged to 25 feet which was miraculously holed for a bogey and I returned yet again to even par. Another tee shot lost to the right on the 7th found the trees and I was blocked out. It appeared I could easily be over par for the first time all day unless I did something special. After a short pep talk from Robert, I chose to attempt a 40 yard slice with a 7-iron around the trees obstructing me from the green that sat 175 yards away. The shot was executed beautifully. It took off against azure sky and immediately took a right turn around the trees and toward the green. All I could ask for was a chance to make an up and down and save par but my ball managed to hop and roll all the way onto the front of the green. Still 60 feet away, Robert reminded me, "This putt is slow, get it to the hole, drop a bomb!" I did, dead center. Back to one under par for the day with my 5th birdie. I missed the 8th green in a bunker and made another save from a precarious position. Two good shots on the final hole left me just 18 feet away from the score I shot on the first day. A pure putt just slid by the right edge, peeking into the hole before lipping out.

I would have to settle for a one under par 71, but yet again today could have been a lot worse. Thanks to a nearly flawless short game I was able to keep the damage to a minimum when I made mistakes and capitalize with birdies when I made good swings. Even though it was another roller coaster ride that I'd prefer not to have, I am tied for 14th, and still in position to make the cut and move on to Stage two next month. Tomorrow will be a good test for everyone in the field as the wind is supposed to pick up to about 25 MPH and blow the opposite direction. "Moving Day" will be pivotal to everyones success in this tournament. In tomorrow's wind I will try to keep the ball low, but I will be moving up the leaderboard.

When it's Alright to Steal

2010-10-26T15:30:00.000-07:00

(Photo by Robert Salas)

From the moment you were old enough to be told what is right and wrong you were probably told not to steal. It's even one of the ten commandments. Today, on the links of Kingwood's Forest Course I found an instance where it's allowed, and actually a good thing.

Over the course of my two practice rounds I struggled to hit the ball properly and kept losing it to the right over and over again, to the point that I couldn't control it. I sat on the driving range and even tried to hit just hooks for thirty minutes, to no avail. The only thing I knew for sure was, it was going to go right and all I could manage to do was try to control how far right it went. I went to bed last night hoping that this apparent swing flaw would stay in bed as I snuck away for the first round of the PGA Tour Qualifying Tournament.

As a competitor this has happened before. I can recall numerous times where I hit the ball terribly leading up to a big event, or even on the driving range warming up before an important round. I always seemed to find a way to strike it purely and with control when the time came.

However, when the bell rang today I stood on the first tee with extremely uneasy feelings about my ability to control the golf ball. I even switched back to my old irons that were in the trunk during my warm up because I was hitting it so badly. To make matters worse it was quite windy today and that doesn't bode well for a guy who's not in control to start.

All day long I felt as though I was stealing shots from the golf course as I would narrowly avoid trouble, usually on the right. I managed to make six birdies despite my relative distrust in my swing. That's right, six! Unfortunately the birdies were met by four bogies, but all told a two under par 70 was far better than I could imagine standing on that first tee. I finished the day tied for 13th place, and inside the magic number by two shots. Hopefully tomorrow will be another good day on the links, and I'm hoping its a slightly more honest one...

Jeremiah was NOT a Bullfrog...

2010-10-06T19:07:00.000-07:00

Some very dear friends of mine have been kind enough to contribute financially to help with the expenses I will incur in the coming months on my journey through Q School. One of them in particular not only left a check, but some words from the good book. They were as follows:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

I found these words very inspiring. Some people might tell you that I don't seem like a spiritual person because I am "too logical". For the record, although I may not go to church every Sunday, and although I think very logically at times, I am a deeply spiritual human being.

It would be so incredibly easy to get caught up in all of the pressure that comes with Q School. The process is long, grueling, and there is what seems to be a bottomless pool of players that are all talented enough to play this game for a living. However only a very small percentage actually get the opportunity.

Before turning pro and deciding to give Q School a try, I had a seat next to a man who plays golf at The University of Texas Golf Club, where I work and hone my game. He wanted to know what my biggest fear was. I wanted to say failure, but I said I didn't really have an answer. Apparently I didn't feel intimate enough to reveal that this is not only my biggest fear, but probably my only fear...The man asked if I knew what his biggest fear was. As I waited for his response sensing his rhetoric he said, "failure....it's what drove me to succeed my whole life."

I ultimately realized after this conversation that failure doesn't have to be feared, it has to be avoided. I could use a fear of failure as motivation to succeed, much like this gentleman had. This was the last word of encouragement I needed to make the decision to turn professional and enter Q School.

Now back to Jeremiah. The fantastic thing about these words hit me days later when I was recounting the story I just told. What is failure at this point in my life as a golfer? Not getting a PGA Tour Card? Not making it to the Final Stage? Not advancing past Stage One in Houston 3 weeks from now? No. Failure would be not trying at all. Failure would be if I didn't go out and give 100% every day in order to be as good as I can be. Maybe I can use failure as motivation to succeed going forward, but I've already succeeded. I'm living the dream. I'm going for it, and I'm being all that I can be at the game I love more than anything in the world. It's just nice to be reminded that no matter what my future holds after this is all over, there is a plan for me, and this is a part of it.

Fragile Toes and the Southern Texas PGA

2010-09-17T19:12:00.000-07:00

I've just arrived home in Austin after a successful week in San Antonio, qualifying for the first stage of Q School. I had a final round 78 that was better than the scorecard would indicate, and comfortably made the cut by 7 shots.

I was successful this week thanks to a number of people and good fortune. First off, Robert Salas drove from Austin to San Antonio 5 days this week to carry the bag and offer advice along the way out of the kindness of his heart as he has done many times in local events as well. I know I'm not always easy to deal with but I hope he enjoys our time together and it doesn't always feel like work. Second, Jenna Amber Herandez was kind enough to lend me the loft in her apartment this week only 10 minutes away from the course to save me some money on a hotel. Every little bit helps, and it's always better to have some human interaction before and after a tournament round rather than hotel walls staring blankly back at you. Also, a thanks to all of the well wishers who would call, text, or email. It means a lot to know that y'all are pulling for me every step of the way. And yes, I did just use the word "y'all".

Two forgettable parts of the week that I want to make note of now that the tournament has come and gone. My (still) broken little toe on my right foot is healing, but still quite a nuiscance. I think I'll try and give it a rest as soon as possible after walking over 100 holes on it right after breaking it. Second, the Southern Texas PGA definitely fouled this tournament up from start to finish. There were a laundry list of problems throughout the week, with a field of only 81 professionals. I am proudly a Texan, but by the end of this tournament I found myself embarrassed for the chapter in front of the other pros from all over the country and all over the world. Luckily, not all of these snags affected me, and I was able to endure the ones that did.

I will find out where and when I will tee it up next on September 28th. I have asked to be placed in Texas, either Houston or Lantana. So, until the end of this month I'll have my fingers crossed...

See, Feel, and Trust.

2010-09-16T17:37:00.000-07:00

After an uninspired second round I arrived at the course early to prepare for "moving day" on Thursday. Tour players affectionately name the next to last round "moving day" because players jockey for position going into the final round. Most of the players teeing off in the afternoon found things to complain about. I found it slightly humorous: "It's going to take at least five and a half hours to play today..." "It's gonna be so hot today..." These people are playing in the afternoon because they're in the upper portion of the field, and poised to easily go on to the next level if they just focus and get to work.

As I went through some early swipes on the practice tee I found myself looking for a swing thought that I could take to the course. This is when I remembered a book I recently read by Dr. David Cook called "Golf's Sacred Journey" In the book the main character, a professional golfer, is at the end of his rope when a man comes into his life and teaches him not only how to get his golf game in order, but his life as well. He teaches him to See, Feel, and Trust all of his decisions. I decided that I would take this philosophy to the course rather than a swing thought. I know I have the game to hit any shot out there, I just need to be committed to my decisions.

I marked my golf ball with "SFT" as done in the story and proceeded to shoot a two under par 70 highlighted by an electrifying eagle on the 565 yard par five 6th hole. I definitely made a move in the right direction this moving day as I am now tied for 5th place with just the final round remaining. So here's what is probable for tomorrow: It will probably be another slow round. It will probably be hot again. Now here's what I know about tomorrow: I will tee off at 11:55. I will See, Feel, and Trust every shot. And I will be wearing orange...

Round Two Highlights

2010-09-15T12:15:00.000-07:00

Round two started early and early in the round I needed to wake up again. A missed drive to the right on the 5th hole led to a double bogey that could have easily been worse. The struggle continued on the following hole when I missed the green from about 100 yards and that led to another bogey. A good par save on the 7th stopped the bleeding but the day grew to be more and more stale. I missed shot after shot, and when a good one was thrown in there I found myself completely incapable of converting the birdie putt. I managed to wiggle two birdies home on the back nine, however they were met with two more bogies ad my round totaled 75.

I never felt right today. As disappointed as I am with how I played, the number on the scorecard was not that bad. 146 for two rounds on this golf course certainly hasn't put me out of position. I'm still in a good spot heading into the third round tomorrow.

The Number One

2010-09-14T14:32:00.000-07:00

(Photo by Robert Salas)

A lot has been made of the number one this week. I'll start with the good news. My first event as a professional is The PGA Tour Qualifying Tournament. TPC San Antonio's Canyons Course plays host this week for the Pre-Qualifying. In honor of my first event, and first round as a professional I played a Titleist 1. Also, the first hole was quite indicative of how the round would go. A drive down the middle of the fairway left a good angle to the back hole location. A solid wedge shot left about 9 feet for birdie and the putt peered into the hole before rolling 8 inches or so past for an easy par. I played solidly most of the day, making three birdies against just two bogies and posted a one under par 71 on the demanding layout. Tournament one, Round One, Ball #1, Hole One, One Under par. Unfortunately I am not in first place, but I am comfortably placed on the scoreboard and three more rounds like this one will definitely do the trick.

The unfortunate detail involving the number 1 is that I am operating on one less toe than everybody else in the field this week. A bizarre incident while packing Saturday night left my little toe on my right foot broken, severely bruised, and swollen. After icing, medicating, and coaxing my right foot into a golf shoe Sunday afternoon for my first practice round I immediately wanted back out of the shoe. The pain was immense. I quickly found a new stride, walking on the inside of my right foot to relieve pressure, which in turn made my entire right leg sore in places I didn't know existed. The one positive thing I took away from the course on Sunday was that the injury did not appear to affect my swing, just the long walks between shots were excruciating. Because of this I decided to forgo my second practice round on Monday in exchange for rest. I just played the back nine in untied tennis shoes, which still didn't feel great.

After more ice, more Aleve, and a little more coaxing I got my foot back into a golf shoe this morning and was able to play some decent golf despite the distraction literally every step of the way. Now its back to the ice until tomorrow morning when I get to do it all again.

Who Wants a Piece of Me?

2010-09-09T21:18:00.000-07:00

With the PGA Tour Qualifying Tournament on the horizon I felt I should get the word out there that I am looking for investors. I have created a detailed expense list for my endeavor to Q School and broken the entire cost into 100 equal shares. For less than $100 you could own a piece of me and this venture. If you're interested and you have my phone number that's the best way to reach me. If you don't have my number, rather than post it on here just send me an email at mrcraigcyr@gmail.com and we can either talk via email or I'll send you my phone number.

I've been at it pretty hard, practicing daily. I've been trying my best to really focus on one part of my game each time I practice, and not leaving until I feel I've learned something and gotten better at it. This has been a steady process and I'm impressed with the results in such a short time frame. A little focus goes a long way in this game.

Putting the "Q" in "PRO"

2010-08-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

Tuesday morning started like any other morning for me in Austin, except I knew a HUGE choice in my life was to be made before noon. Would I sign up for the PGA Tour Qualifying Tournament (affectionately known as "Q School") to be held this fall? I phoned Robert Salas, as he has witnessed more of my recent golf than anyone breathing, and knows my game better than myself at times. I expected a longer conversation. I simply asked him "What do you think? Should I go?" Robert replied with a very confident "Of course! You have the talent, why not?" That was all that needed to be said. I went online and signed myself up for Q School 2010, and officially turned professional.

I want to take a moment here to describe two very strong emotions that came with this decision. The first is the very obvious excitement arising from a step in the direction of a childhood dream. The opportunity to do something like this is more than a lot of people could ever ask for and I feel blessed to have one. The second may be a little harder to understand. I cannot put into words how much I will miss amateur golf. It has meant so much to me and I truly do love the game, down to its very roots. If there are any golf historians reading along they are aware that there was a time, considered to be a much purer time for the game of golf, when it was very questionable to make the game your profession. In fact, it was almost dishonorable. I'm not saying that it is dishonorable today, but I do think there are too many "pros" out there and I put this decision off many times because I feared becoming another lackluster professional golfer.

I have no intentions of this. I have worked very hard on my game to this point in my life, and I still love it enough to work even harder and I will continue to do so until September 21st arrives and I tee it up on a quest for a PGA Tour Card. I will always continue to learn about my game and get better whether I am a professional or not. I am just too hungry for the confines of amateur golf. I have dreams of playing with and beating the best players in the world and you just can't do that as an amateur in today's game. Most of all I want to give back to the game, the people, and the communities that have given so much to me. That is the dream. That is the fuel that burns inside my heart every hour that I practice, every day.